July 31 Extra

I have come up with a novel way to write about my encounters with Roman. I will write an entry for Wednesday and right another one just for when I see him. I tore into the lining of my suitcase and have tucked all of my entries about Roman in there. Now Dr. Small will never notice anything odd.

I was so cold standing out side. The bush I was hiding in was tugging on my jacket. Night had come early. It was the time of year that the days lost a minute of daytime.

My watch said 11 p.m. and I started to wonder if Roman would ditch me as payback for last week. Then I saw his car creep up on to the curb.

I sprinted faster then I did when I was on the track team in middle school. My vision was a blur as I almost smacked into his car door. Roman hastily opened the door. 

I threw myself into the seat and sat there, frozen for a minute.

“Are you okay?”

            I felt like I had jumped threw a hoop on fire. In a way I was more then okay, I was excited. I looked up into Roman’s eyes and nodded slowly.

            Roman smiled mysteriously, “Good.”

            We didn’t try to speak as he drove. There was a new atmosphere to the car. One where you knew something would happen.

            He seemed to be driving forever. As he drove I admired him the passing lights of other cars and streetlamps. Roman never looked more handsome then in the night. Then suddenly I realized that I was in obsession with him; borderline love. I know I have no clue what real love feels like, but maybe Roman will be the one to make me feel it.

            He found a small clearing off a back road. Someone would have to look for us to see you here. Two things changed in me as he parked his car. I felt fear and anxiety overflow my mind. How many time have I heard about women who where in the same place as me and ended up dead?

            Then I realized what Roman really wanted, sex.

            Our second kiss was less violent and more clam. He cupped my chin before kissing me. I felt my body freeze and I quickly went threw my options.

            I could get out of this car, but the chance of having sex seemed too exciting. After last night I have started to wonder how stupid I am.

            For the moment I gave him what he wanted. Passionate, deep kisses. I’m not sure if guys care much about that, but I kept on.

            He broke the kiss and whispered “Shall I?”

            I wasn’t sure if I nodded or not but Roman kept on. His hands felt cold and soft against me stomach. I didn’t try to stop the shiver as he removed my shirt and his hand ‘accidentally’ brushed against my bra.

            Now with the cloth in his hand it was tossed into the back of the truck. I did the same with his shirt.

            It wasn’t until he put his hand into my vagina did I fell uncomfortable. My pants and underwear were on the floor with my shirt and bra. I was naked and so was Roman.

            He didn’t mind rubbing his fingers against the inside of me.

            We were both in the heat of it and weren’t ready to stop but I could tell Roman was afraid and so was I. Of course I wonder if fear adds to sex.

            “No.” I screamed.

            Roman shushed me.

            “I’m not ready Roman.” I said felting worse then trash. I started to pick up my clothes and put them on. In a way I felt like I had thrown my dignity in the floor with them.

            I saw that he had an erection.

            “But it will hurt me if we don’t have sex.”

            “No Roman, No!” I paused surprised I had screamed again.

            “I love you.” He tried. There was a mixture of disappointment and anger in his eyes.

            “I’m not ready to jump into anything.”

            “But Aelge, I love you and you only.”

            Then something flickered in my mind. One time Dr. Small taught me how to stand up for myself. She reminded me that I could have some power in a situation, not matter what.

            “Roman,” I started “I will do something with you and I think you’re a great guy, but I will not have sex.”

            I saw this eyes change from anger to hurt.

            And then finally I said “If you love me you’ll respect that.”   

 

Reviews

[PyroKitty24]

I'm very proud of her~

[Tina Kline]

It's a good thing she remember what her doctor told her and used that so she wouldn't end up doing something she might regret later.

[Chris38]

Well we could see thsi coming. Hopefully Roman wil respect what she wants. Great chapter.

[trainwreck]

Wow. This chapter finally happened. I'm glad that you allowed the characters to have this moment.
As mentioned, I love that line: "In a way I felt like I had thrown my dignity on the floor with them."
This whole chapter changed the story in so many ways. Its a great chapter and a fantastically written one. Realistic, harsh, and also written by someone classy. Fabulous chapter.

[Caitlynxoxo]

" In a way I felt like I had thrown my dignity in the floor with them. "

That is probably (so far) my favourite line in this story. The simplicity of it, yet the impact was very creative! I feel bad for Ramon, but on another level, i don't. I agree with Aegle; if he loves her, he should respect her choice. Fantastic chapter!

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo