July 26

July 26

            Janna told me today that I promoted to level 6. She had told me this in between Photography and lunch.

            I was given my Ipod, cell phone and the chagrining cords for both. I asked her where they were kept. All I remember was a nurse going threw my bag and taking them from me. I was told they were kept in a box with my name on it. You have to wonder if those nurses ever become bored and listen to your Ipod.

I didn’t smile too much, but then I haven’t been too happy lately. As a bonus I was also told that I could visit my Dad next weekend. Apparently starting this weekend I will go home after school on Fridays and come back on Sundays at 5pm. I was advised to call Dad and tell the good news.

            I didn’t feel like calling him; in fact I don’t fell like doing much. I feel so down and out. I hate the feeling I’m having. I want to crawl up into a ball some day and sleep the day away.

            I wish I could purge again. I once time heard a joke said at a baby shower. Then you’re pregnant you worship a porcelain god. This is because you spend most of your time kneeled before it vomiting. The women laughed at this joke, but I thought more deeply about it.

            What if you worshiped a false god just because you were in pain? What if I spent my time as a bulimic trying to get far away from God? I know the Bible well, but there are times when it can’t comfort me.  

            These thoughts were like smoke as I sat around a wide table to play a game of BS. Joining me in the game was Eva, April, and Morgan. We rarely come together outside of group therapy, but I guess things can change.

            I was handed my card and Eva started out.

            “It’s an eight.” She looked up from the card and at me. “I heard you moved up to level 6.”

            Morgan placed a card on top of Eva. “It’s a nine.”

            “It’s a ten.” I placed a card down before answering. “I was. That means I’m closer to getting gout of here.”

            “BS.” Morgan whispered. She had caught me. I had really placed down a one. I picked up the three cards and placed one down.

            “It’s a two. What happens when you graduate?” I asked trying to catch a lair.

            “Nothing special. They give you a certificate saying that you gradated and then kick you out.” 

            April looked at her cards and whined, “I don’t have a three.”

            “Aww damn April we know you’ll bullshit. If you don’t have the card you lie. Say that you do.” Eva has never been squeamish about cursing. Janna ends out reminding Eva that we’re in a treatment center that focuses on Christ and that such language will not condoned. Yet it seems ironic that we are playing a game that requires you to lie and cuss. Now I can tell Eva was the one to request this.

            April shyly placed a card down. “It’s a three.”

            “Bullshit!” Eva wailed. Janna turned around and gave her a look of warning.

            Eva placed a card down “It’s a four.”

            I placed one down too “It’s a five. What happens if you don’t graduate?”

            Morgan placed down a card “It’s a six.”

            “They just hold you back until you do. If you’re crazy though they’ll send you to the loony bin. I’m not surprised I haven’t been sent.”

            April placed a card on top of Morgan’s “It’s a seven.”

            “BS!” I called out.

            April snickered and showed me that she was telling the truth. Thanks to that outburst I had to take all the cards.

            “I can’t wait to see my boyfriend.” April added out of the blue.

            “Me too.” Eva said putting a card down. “And I know he’s missing me.”

            “How sweet.” April mumbled checking the time.

            “Sweet? Ha! He misses this body. My mind is in the gutter and my body is like butter.”

            Morgan, April and I stopped what we were doing and looked up at her.

            “What? Just saying.”

            We played for another five minutes until Janna called time. I left I call Dad.

He told me he would pick me up in the morning.

            I plan to pack my bags before bed. Just a second ago Janna told me a few rules.

One rule is that when I’m gone I have to keep a food journal and I have to keep up with this journal. She handed me her e-mail address and told me to contact her if anything happened.

            Not too bad, I think. 

Author's Note

If you don't know much about the card game Bullshit I'll try to explain it more.
You have to go in order from 1 to King. You are given so many cards from the beginning and if you don't have the card you have to place one and say that its the number.
If someone calls Bullshit and you were lying you have to pick up all the pile, but if they are wrong they have to pick up the cards. The person to have no cards first wins.
Some people don't like saying bullshit so they'll say BS, including myself.

Reviews

[PyroKitty24]

Interesting. I always played that game a little differently.

[Tina Kline]

It sounds like a fun game. Nice chapter, wonder how going home is going to be for her. No doubt they'll be pressure on her to eat.

[Chris38]

Well written.