Wow! This was a great write. When I first started reading the poem, I really didn't expect the themes that I came across as the poem progressed. The twist in the middle of the piece definitely took me by surprise, but I thought that the way you described the situation was really moving, and beautifully worded. A very emotional and very real piece. Nice work,
~PaperHearts
I really, really like this. I learn a lot from your poetry, and I'm happy to learn this also; how you started the story out making it seem like, in my head, that this person was just paralyzed from waist down or something, but as I kept reading, I realized the sad truth of it. Your writing never ceases to teach me something :p p.s.- I also like how at first, the setting takes me back to like Romeo and Juliet times, with romantic dances, and then it pulls me to modern times with the mention of phones and hospitals. :)
Sad story. I saw some people in similar situations only not as bad when I had to go see my father when he was in therapy for a broken hip. It's so heart wrenching to see people in that kind of state. You described your feelings well enough to touch people's hearts in this one.
You missed a couple of words but no big deal. Good job.
I'm a full time college student, part time worker. I'm two years away from my bsw! In my free time I read, write and sim.
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