Your Beauty Mocks The Roses

How dare I compare you

to a rose? You are so much

more than something that

will fade.

 

Your smile is engraved

in my soul and your scent

lingers in my nose.Your voice

plays like a lullaby in my head.

 

And though you

are gone I still have

hope that I will

see you again. I know that

death will have no hold on me once I

go to heaven.

 

I know one day I

will be in heaven with you, praising God

like we did on earth. You went to

the four corners of the earth to tell

the Good News.

 

Your beauty mocks

the roses. You have a

wonderful soul

and I’m jealous that heaven

has you.

 

You will last longer than

any rose. I'm glad to know your life

will live on. Your Godly

message will bring many to Him.

 

Author's Note

Tell me if there is any mistakes.

4th place
Jul 28, 2011

* Story/poetry time
* Your Beauty Mocks The Roses

Reviews

[GamingGal]

Pros: Huh, I was surprised to see religion wound in with the lines. A good surprised, though. You told a good story and your imagery was nice and pleasant. I like how you took comparing beauty to a rose and ran in a different direction with it. That was a good twist.

Cons: None.

Overall: An interesting piece.

[halflives]

This. Was. Brilliant. The first stanza is pure brilliance. Well done.

[Darkest Rose]

Wow I love this,it's an amazing write and I was so happy to see you enter this in my contest.I love rose's so this title made me laugh but the poem sobered me up fast,it is full of love and deep emotions.I enjoyed reading this and could read it over and over again for hours.Keep up the amazing writing :)

[sarah]

awwwwww this is so sad but wonderful at the same time great work!

[Magdelena]

Wonderful piece and a great image inside this. I so loved how you made reference to the rose, and then made beauty something internally different. Very impressive.

Over-all, a fab piece..

Mags xx

[Veronica]

I loved this piece! I hope that person in Heaven is watching over you and everybody else with a beautiful smile :)

[Greg Skura]

Great tribute to a great person! Well Done!

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Really great and lovely! And roses are my favorite flower!

[SpokenWord]

I like the comparisons to a rose and how a rose wilts and dies but he will never fade in this way. I wasn't looking for any mistakes just enjoying your message. Well done.

[Chris38]

I liked the broken up sentences which I do myself sometimes and I think it works well. I love the line "your beauty mocks the roses" and wish I thought of it myself.