I mean it when I say…

I don’t mean you harm.

I don't want to see you sick.

But I want you to know

that I mean it when I say

good-bye.

 

I can’t live among

you anymore.

I can’t even breath

when I’m in your house.

 

There havebeen so

many arguments.

They have been mostly

your screams.

When is it my turn to speak?

 

I have not spoken…

I have not spoken ill

of you, but you

still call me a lair

 

Trust me when I say

I mean you no harm.

but you have no more control

over me.

 

That very control kept

you alive. You believed

screaming you were leaving

would effect me.

 

So unlike

you I mean it when

I say

good-bye!

Reviews

[cassandra violet]

a very emotionally powerful poem!
The good aspects of this piece:
-You have a strong voice
-You are able to depict your emotions thuroughly
-its had good organization/structure
What can be improved:
-The language. Thought your voice is strong I feel like your words would have much more of your desired effect if you went back and tried incorporating language that is more intense and dramatic, language that mirrors your emotions. If that makes sense?
-The grammar. There are a couple of grammar mistakes, this is ALWAYS something that writers miss, myself for sure included! an example- "There as been so many arguments" should be there "There have been so many arguments" Just go back and tidy it up a bit. what helps me is usually reading the poem out loud to myself (no creeper! lol) or reading it out loud to someone else.
-The imagery. I'm sure you've heard it all before but it truly cannot be emphasized enough- show, don't tell your readers what emotions you are trying to convey. Your poem should be able to speak for itself- however not too much though because like I said, one of the strong aspects of your poem is the intensity and power of its speaker.

GREAT WORK AND KEEP WRITING :) send me more stuff!

[FaytheFey]

I can relate.

[Reborn A Phoenix]

wow this was really good i so can relate to it

[Blue Bird II]

You are a good poet by the most.

[youngwriter222]

Great Writing!
If it betters yourself and you don't want to live in that stressful environment then it is always best to say goodbye. You are a strong person and I love that about you!

[sarah]

this is sooooooo powerful and really hits home good work

[Tina Kline]

A very sad write but sometimes we have to save ourselves, not matter how hard and painful walking/breaking away from a destructive situation can be. Being strong doesn't mean not feeling fear, it means being brave in spite of the fear. Excellent poem.

[Miranda]

GOOD. VERY GOOD.

[SpokenWord]

Saying good bye and meaning it can be difficult. We grow comfortable even in a not so pleasant situation. In a way we make our own security in it and it is hard to leave that comfort zone for we can't imagine not being there. That is a sign that someone has killed our spirit when we can't see a tomorrow just being by ourself.