July 3

A Chapter by Calypso

June 3

So Janna told me that I couldn’t go home for the fourth of July today. I already knew I couldn’t go, but I would have been nice to know before hand. I wasn’t too disappointed about not going home because Eva told me Bryant’s has a good Fourth of July party. I was certain that booze wasn’t a part of the party, but food would be.

During the first break I hunted Roman down. I saw him sitting in front of the TV in the TV lounge. He nonchalantly changed the channel, and he seemed cute while doing it. My heart just raced knowing I would get to talk to him. When I tried running to Roman Janna stopped me. At first I thought she was going to tell me not to run but she told me it was time to go to Dr. Small’s. I had forgotten that it was Wednesday.

She was waiting for me this time. I found her in the room with her notebook on her lap.

“How are you?” Dr. Small asked taking notes. I have been in here for a few minutes and she’s already taking notes?

“Same old, same old, I guess.”

“Nothing new happened since I last saw you.”

“Nope.” I pulled my journal out of my purse “Do you want this.”

She nodded and took it from my hand and read it. Ten minutes later she was taking notes.

“That was quick.” I noted.

“Now that your level three you don’t have to let me keep your journal over night. Now I’ll read it, but quickly.”

I nodded. I waited for Dr. Small it finish up before I said anything else.

“So in your journal you talking about Janna talking to your Dad… and it make you…”

“Feel crappy.” I said simply. I wondered if she though it was weird that I wrote down every conversation I had. At least she would have a good view into my life.

After reading threw my journal she sat it down took some notes and picked it back up. Dr. Small looked at it for a few seconds. I was about to ask if anything was wrong when she said, “You are talented.”

That sat me back, “Why do you say that?”

“Your writing is beautiful and the drawings on the cover are amazing. You should think about doing art in your spare time around here.”

“Does photography count?”

“Of course.”

“Well on the outside I’m in a band with some kids from my church.” I supplied. Dr. Small nodded in approval.

“Do you think art will help?” I asked. “Because I was playing in a band before and I still ended up here.”

“Art therapy will be good for you in addition to therapy and medication.” She shrugged. “And anyways it’s a good hobby.”

Dr. Small then stood up and stuck out her hand and I followed suit.

“Take care sweetie.” She said as I left.

I didn’t want to tell her I feel so fat, so worthless, not even worth being saved, but I kept my lips sown shut.

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