July 1

July 1

            Last night was a rough night. I didn’t even write an entry in my journal. I did the same thing as I always did, washed my face, wear my favorite socks to bed and changed my bra and panties but it seemed as if I couldn’t go asleep. The food in my belly laid in my belly like a rock. For some reason the cooks had sliced up a few watermelons and brought them out to the library. When Janna noticed the watermelon she made the four of us eat a slice. Eva was the worst for struggling, at least outwardly. Now she sleeps in bed soundless. Somehow I wish I would have fussed also, and then maybe I wouldn’t be insomniac.

            Sitting up I looked across the row of girls out side of the window. Outside things seemed peaceful.

            I went back to bed and tried to sleep, and I did but for a few minutes. I had a dream of when Morana and I were younger. We were in our play clothes. She was ten and I was five. Trying as hard as we could we tried to make a leaf catch on fire, but failed. This was before we knew Mom would die of breast cancer or before Morana found out you could kill yourself or before I found out that you could lose weight by vomiting. This was a time when the world seemed right and the sun always shined.

            I woke up felling sweat gather around my forehead. Finally I got out of bed and checked the time. It was one in the morning. Stepping out of the room is against the rules, but I felt like needed some room to breath. I walked down the dark hallway until a wave of dizziness hit me. I had to sit down and place my head in between my knees before I could do anything else.

            “Aelge!” I heard someone say. I was about to jump out of my skin but someone placed a hand over my mouth. I bit the closet finger to my mouth.

            “Stop it Aelge, it’s Roman!”

            Roman brought his face into profile. Despite the lack of light I knew it was him.

            I stood up and hugged Roman. I glad it was him and not someone else; I didn’t like being told on.

            At first Roman didn’t know how to react but finally he embraced me also. The hug seemed to last a minute before letting go. Suddenly I was glad it was dark because I didn’t want Roman to see me blushing.

            “Where …were you going?”

            He whispered in my ear “Follow me.”

            “But where…?”

            He grabbed my wrist gently and walked me towards the doors. I was about to ask him if he was trying to bust out but I was excited to do something different. He pushed at the door and a folder fell. I wasn’t about to pick it up, but Roman did. After stepping outside he placed the folder where it was.

            “Would you like to take a walk?”

            We were in a safe neighborhood, but I thought of rape stories I had read. The girls sometimes trusted the boys before they lead her into a dark alley and forced himself upon her.

            Then I reminded that I didn’t have too much to lose so I took him up on the offer. As we walked down the street Roman pulled out a pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket. He placed one on his lower lip and lit it up.

            He handed me the packet. “Sorry I don’t smoke.” Yet I wondered if this was the time to start, a time when I needed a more addictive release than therapy. I changed my mind and placed one in my mouth. It was unusual in my mouth and Roman seemed to take joy in watching me awkwardly light the cigarette.

            “I didn’t think cigarettes were allowed.” I said taking the cigarette out of my mouth. I didn’t want to be accidentally burned by the cigarette in front of Roman; had I been by my self I might have be burned on purpose.

             “They’re not. I smuggled them in a little while back. One of the bonuses of being level ten is that they don’t check your packages.”

            “Wait a second.” I said pausing in the middle of the street "You’re level ten.”

            “And it’s great too. Aren’t you going to take a drag of that cigarette because it’s all going up in smoke…”

            “What’s going to happen after you leave?”

            “What?”

            “I kinda like you and I want to see you more often.”

            “Are you asking me on a date?” He said slyly.

            “No I asking you come visit me once you’re out of here.”

            “No can do. I’m not on your list of people that can visit you.”

            “Then I’ll visit you, out here. When do you leave?”

            “Next week.”

            I bent over to put out the cigarette. After pushing it into the ground I stood up and looked him in the eye. “Then meet me here, in this spot the day after you leave.”

            He finished up his cigarette and exhaled in a long stream. He seemed to be avoiding what I was saying. “What if you are caught?”

            “But I wasn’t tonight.”

            “Ya, that’s because you were with me.”

            I turned my back to him. “If I’m able to meet you here on July 9 ^th at 1 a.m. then you know I’ll be able to come her the next week and the week after that. Let’s make that night the trial. If I fail then no more, and if succeed…”

            “I’ll be here then.”

            He started another cigarette before walking down the alley.

            “Where are you going?”

            “Back to Bryant’s. The guards will show up in an hour.” 

            I was able to hold Roman’s hand as he walked. When I noticed for his hand he gave it to me as naturally as if we had done it all our life.

Reviews

[PyroKitty24]

Hm. I'm not sure if I like Roman or not.

[Daydreamer54]

The food in my belly lied in my belly like a rock. -The food in my belly felt like rock.
“No I asking you come visit me once you’re out of here.”
-- I'm asking you to come visit me

[Chris38]

The girl needs comanionship and that's more important than some stupid rules. An overall entertaining chapter.

[Tina Kline]

She's going to get caught or something, I'm thinking. Very good chapter here too.