June 28

June 28

     Janna woke me up this morning. She told me that I had overslept and that the other girls had already dressed. According to her I had about forty minutes to brush my teeth, make my bed and get dressed.Dazed and tired I got out of bed and started to dress.

      “Hay Aelge.” Eva said during breakfast. “I heard you relapsed.”

      I sheepishly smiled and answered, “Why do you want to know?”

      “I was just wondering if it was true.”

      I shrugged. Eva didn’t press anymore info from me. I was wondering how she knew about the relapse. She most have found out the same way that I found out about Mary Jo, threw gossip.

      In English Mrs. Maxwell gave us a new assignment. We now have to read Speak. She told us that the book contains scenes of rape and if anyone would have issues with that for them to raise their hands. No one did. She then reiterated that it could be a trigger for some of us and could some emotional problems. Two girls raised their hands and Mrs. Maxwell exchanged their books for some book that was happy over all.

      In photography Mr. Cooper took us outside and we all took random photos of nature. Since I missed class Friday I was never given the assignment. The assignment was to find ourselves in nature. I asked one of the girls in my class to take a photo of me sitting in a tree. Then she took photos of me hanging off a branch and then under the tree. Thirty minutes before class was over Mr. Cooper took us into the darkroom. I developed those three photos along with another ten.

      During lunch I felt a bit of resentment. I hadn’t seen Roman in a while and he was on my mind. Since he was on my mind I had a hard time eating. The anxiety and nervousness of seeing him was eating at me. I wanted him to think about me. Janna saw the struggle and instructed me to at least eat ¾ of the meal. I knew that she would have to make me eat all of the meal, so I ate it all and went on with my day.

      During group therapy we talked about how we used to treat our bodies versus what we were learning.

      I thought I could blend in but they called me out. As soon as the counselor said my name every face turned towards me.As I started talking the pressure became less.

“I still struggle with fasting when I eat too much. When I’ve overate, or believed I did, I wouldn’t eat for days at a time. That was how I purged.”

      “But I heard that you made yourself puke.” Said one boy.

      “I’ve only done that twice. Most of the time I exercised until I passed out.”

      The room was quite and finally Eva said, “I do that sometimes…” I was glad the pressure was off of me and onto someone else.After awing this everyone but me turned to her and listened as she talked.

      After group session was over I ate slowly at dinner. The worst part was the ice cream. I don’t what has gotten into me, but eating has became harder and harder.

      Once dinner was over I struck up a conversation with Eva. She told me she was from West Virginia and this was her second time here. Apparently if you purge three times while at Bryants, as she did, then you’re sent back home.

      “Of course I didn’t want to change.” She sat back in her chair and looked up at the ceiling.

      “Did your parents make you come back?” I asked turning towards her.

      “No.” She rolled her eyes. “My step- dad was so pissed that he paid for me to go and I was kicked out. Though my mom was so upset. She told me that she prayed every night for me.” Her voice became lower as if she was talking to her self. “Every fricking night, and she barely believes in Jesus.”

      “So was that your turning point?”

      “God no. My changing point was when I woke up in the hospital with a tube down my throat. I had passed out and while I was unconscious I had stopped breathing.” I was about to say something when she spoke again. “That’s when Mom told me that she gave up on me. I didn’t take her seriously, but she was serious. Do you know how bad that is?” She turned her face towards me. I could see the pain. “That’s why I’m going to do the best I can this time.”

“That’s…” I could find an adjective to express what it was. Cool? Smart?

“Enough for the inspirational crap.” Eva huffed. By that time we were told to get ready for bed.

Reviews

[PyroKitty24]

Poor Eva~ I hate when people just give up on me. But sometimes life is just so hard. I understand her pain

[Daydreamer54]

Aw, poor eva! maybe she snd aelge will end up being friends. ^^

[Chris38]

The insight in this is amazing.

[youngwriter222]

Looking into the other lives also is a great realization for Aelge, but some parents need to understand that there are things that cause this to happen and if you get angry at your kid it will only make things worse.
Wonderful read!

[Tina Kline]

Great chapter too. Your taking the reader further and further into the what its like to have an eating disorder.