Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 

            At work I daydreamed for most of the day. I did the work I was supposed to, but the nurses weren’t hovering over me like before. It was a dull and slow day. At the most I have out twenty suckers (ate two my self), make a few appointments, and cleaned up a spill.

            Mrs. Davis picked me up and I changed at her house. She had a sandwich and an apple waiting for me in the kitchen. She had her own sandwich in front of her.

            “Sit down and eat something before you get to work Wilma.”

            I did as I was told.

            “How’s your mother?”

            “Well… considering.” I looked down to my lunch.

            “What? Not hungry?”

            “Not really. I want to get to work now.”

            “Okay then.” Mrs. Davis stood up and pointed towards a door. “In there is cleaning supplies.”

            I went into the wash room and got a rag and window cleaner. “What do you want me to do?” I called out.

            “The windows. The counter tops and the bathrooms.”

            I started at the window that was beside Mrs. Davis.

            “Are you doing okay?” She asked.

            I sprayed the window and ran the rag over it. “I’m good.”

            “Grieving is hard. It did a number on me when Will died.” She admitted.

            “I’m sorry.” I said dully. The window squeaked as I rubbed the rag against it. I had to get on my toes to reach the top.

            “You know you and your family is in my prayers.”

“I’m an atheist.” I mumbled simply.

“Ah, really?” 

“I’ve been this way for years.”

“Did someone teach you to be an atheist?”

“Teach me? No, I was just told.”

“By who?” She asked leaning forward.

I quickly ran my hand over my bangs. “I had a foster sister, who… meant a lot to me. She loved me before anyone else did.”

“So that’s your idea of love?” She asked getting up. Mrs. Davis placed her cup in the microwave. “Telling you lies?”

“Its not lies,” I said defensively “It’s my beliefs.” I picked up the window cleaner.

“Well who do you turn to when things are bad?”

“The people around me.” I said simply. The rag smeared the window, but it soon faded. I gaped at Mrs. Davis’ pool wishing I was in it.  

“They’re people too Wilma and people do have a breaking point.”

I went quiet for a minute, letting my mind wonder back to Mom. “But some get better, in time.”

“Sadly, nothing is for sure dear.” She said thoughtfully, getting her cup of tea out of the microwave. “People fail also, then who will you turn to?”

I turned to Mrs. Davis not trying to hide the greave frown I had. “I don’t know. How then?”

“What?”

“How would a god let this happen?”

She let out an audible sigh and took a long drink before answering. “God works in odd ways. Ways we would have never thought of. He never wants to see us hurt, but there’s sin in the world.”

“Okay.” I said dumbly hoping that would shut her up. My gaze was fixed onto the pool. Despite the fact I was cleaning window I could feel water run over my body, my self floating, looming towards the surface. Any second my skin could break free from the bounds of water and raise up. No pressure, there would only be air.

“Wilma are you okay?”

“Hun?” I droned stupidly. My mouth had been hanging open and my gaze had fallen. The rag drooped in my hand.

“Well you have that awful scab on your forehead and you seem to be in a daze.”

I kept looking outside. “I’m tired Mrs. Davis. I’m fighting sleep as we speak.” I raised my hand to my mouth. I hadn’t realized it, but I was exhausted.

“Am I really that boring?” She said jokingly.

I chuckled dryly. “No. Its just…”

“Well I you want to you can nap on the love seat and I’ll do the rest of the work. I’ll just say that you did it.”  

“No I would like to swim, though.”

“Go ahead then. The clothes you have on is fine. Kids today don’t wear much, so it won’t hurt.”

I placed the rag on the counter and I went outside. Slowly I climbed up on to the ladder.

The water was cold as it hit against my ankle. A silly grin spread onto my face as I let go of the latter handles and fell into the icy water.

I waited as my body slowly fell. I knew the pool was only six feet, but it felt much deeper. When my weightless body hit the bottom, I grabbed a hold of the bottom so I wouldn’t go back up.

Despite the pain, I forced my eyes open. The chemicals burned as soon as they hit my eyes. Yet I could clearly see the sun which had been warped into a ball of waves..

Mrs. Davis stood at the edge, not looking alarmed. I let go of the floor as slowly rose until my chest broke the surface.

“Was it nice?” She asked handing me a glass of lemonade.

“Yes, thanks.” I said drinking from the cup.

“Nice weather for swimming, not too hot, not too cold. Its nice for late June, isn’t it?”

I was surprised has fast it had taken us to go from theological debate to small talk. I pulled myself over the edges. “What’s today’s date?”

“June 25.”

“Hard to believe we’ve been out of school for that long. Time flies.” When I got out of the pool Mrs. Davis let me sleep on the couch until Dr. Davis came in from work and he took me home.

When Mrs. Davis hugged me good bye she slipped the money in to my head. “Call me sometime and we’ll go shopping.”

“Okay.”

Mom was asleep and so was Dad when I came home. For the first time in a week I saw Wade. He had his door open and he was lying on his bed staring up at the ceiling with large earphones on. 

 His foot was lazily winging from left to right. Wade never moved, he seemed more interested in his music. Finally he looked to his door and there I was watching him.

“Can I help you?” He asked yanking the headphones off.

“Oh nothing, nothing.”

“Well then…” He started. “Go away.”

“I wasn’t doing anything wrong just standing here.”   

“Why do you have to be so annoying? You’re always talking and voicing everything, shut up for once.” He cocked his head to the side and then laid it onto his pillow.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I knew you would say something soon, so I’m saving time. I’m tired.” He rolled over and put his headphones again. Soon I heard a soft snoring sound.

In my room I set up a canvas and started to paint. Carefully I balanced the canvas in front of a pile of books.  

I poured black, white and red paint on to a paper plate. Slowly the color ran together. I dipped the tip of my brush and ran it over the canvas slowly and smoothly.

My heart beat slower as I watched the paint just form onto the canvas. It was as if the paint was just appearing  out of thin air, not of my doing, but of the doing of something else.

I was called down to dinner, but I never went. I decided that I would rather be alone in my room then go threw another awkward dinner.

I had a hard time falling asleep, but I woke in a few hours. Next door someone was pounding on a nail, and that sound shocked me awake.

The coffee pot was turned on when I came down stairs. Mom was sitting on the couch with her legs curled under her. The TV was on, but she wasn’t watching it, she was staring off into space.

“Morning Mom.” I said walking into the kitchen.

“You’re up early.” She mumbled. Her eyes looked sunken in and swollen as if she had just finished crying. Under her pale shin her blue veins shinned. Over all Mom looked feeble, and as breakable as a porcelain doll. A house robe that must have been two sizes too big was wrapped around her frame.

“I guess. I’m going to Mrs. Walker’s.”

She never answered me. Mom took a long sip of coffee. “Sit next to me dear.”

I did as I was told. On TV they was talking about the death sentence. Two older men were debating the pros and cons. The volume was a soft mummer, so I was able to talk over it.

“What about you?” I asked turning the TV up. “It seems like you’ve been up longer.”

“Only for an hour. I was tired so I went to bed around 9-ish. Adults don’t need as much sleep Will.” She said matter "of- fact.

“Oh well then.” I responded getting a cup of coffee my self.

“Will can you get me another cup?” Mom asked holding her cup out.

“Why can’t you?”

“My head’s hurting.” She snapped.

I did as I was told. She took the cup and took an even longer drink.

We silently watched TV until Mom said. “Don’t they realize that the convent is a Mother’s child? How could they put such grief on the family?”

A first I wondered if she was if she was really talking about the death penalty. She sighed deeply as she turned the channel.      

Mom wrapped her self tighter in her robe.

The atmosphere seemed awkward to me, but to Mom she was distant and must have had taken her self away from the present.

“Will,” She finally whispered. “Today my sister and mom’s coming in. If you don’t mind could you be back from Mrs. Walker’s before noon.”

“Sure.”
”You know,” She started.

“What?”

“I really don’t like for you to go to Mrs. Walker’s, on your bike, by your self.”

“Well why?” I asked my voice becoming irritated.

“You could get hurt.”

“Oh Mom I’ll be fine.”

“Ya that’s what you say.” She huffed. “Once, when I was interning at a hospital out by Penn State, this boy came in to the hospital after he had been hit by a car when he was riding his bike. His mom was angry and fuming that he didn’t wear his helmet. Of course all I had to do was give the kid Morphine, but still it was a bad thing to see. Do you know what happened to him?”

“He died.”

“No, he was paralyzed, a fate worse then death. For the rest of his life other people had to wipe his a*s when he crapped.”

“So your worried that will happen to me?” I said annoyed. “I’ll just wear my helmet.”

“What!” Mom cried. “Haven’t you already been wearing it?”

“Yes.” I lied.

“Well I still don’t like you doing out on your bike.”

“Why? I just said I would wear a helmet.”

“With or without a helmet the fate for the boy would have been the same. It was spinal injury.”

I just up and put on a wind breather. Someone had turned on the air condoning, causing the house to freeze.  

I left the house without saying anymore to Mom. I knew if she knew about my forehead she would flip. The scab on my forehead was noticeable, so she must have not noticed it. Of course thanks to my bangs the scabs were covered over.

Casey was waiting for me when I came in. I bypassed him and went to the couch. Casey once told me that they were tries to make the restaurant into a café also, but Mrs. Walker decided that she liked the way the place looked, but the place stayed the same with the similar café/ restaurant menu and atmosphere. She had never got around to getting rid of the piano, furniture, or drinks. 

I told Casey I would like a Cappuccino and a muffin.

When he brought it out I nibbled on the muffin and sipped the Cappuccino. Slowly memories started to ebb in and out of my mind.

They were slowly building and not matter how hard I tried I couldn’t fight them.

After being adopted Mom and Dad took us out to pick out bed spreads and clothes.

Kiya and I were left alone in one aisle in Bed, Bath and Beyond. Mom had gone off to pick up soap

“Didn’t you say that your favorite color was yellow?” Kiya asked picking  up  yellow sheets.

“Not anymore, my favorite color is purple now.”

 “But you can’t have a purple bed. I have a purple bed.” She said seriously.

“But I want a purple bed too!” I whined.

“But.. but. I was first in the family!” She yelled throwing the sheets into the floor. “ I’ve lived here for six years before you did!”

“I want a purple bed.” I said grabbing a pack of purple sheets.

Kiya started crying and she ran off. “Mommy!”

I tucked the pack under my arm sure that this was the one I was getting. “Such a child.” I said.

Mom was angry at us both. Not only did I not get the color sheets I wanted but Mom got them in white and because she know that since Kiya and I would fight over color she made Kiya get white sheets also.

Kiya was angry about it for years and finally she joked about it  before she died.

Once again I could feel my chest tightened. I ran out of Mrs. Walker’s with tears spilling from my eyes.

“How could I have been to stupid?” I said mounting my bike. It was hard to see threw the tears as I went home.

As Mom said Aunt Sophie and Grandma was there, but not so happy to see me.