Chapter 10 Now and forever.

 

The day seemed to creep by. When I came home things weren’t the same. Mom sat on the couch crying, and Dad just sat there rubbing her shoulders. Wade was at his girlfriends, but I just stayed in my room.

            My window is right above the driveway so I would watch people come into the house and stay for a few minutes. Those people were always kind. They would leave food and sympathy. From the down stairs I could hear their conversations, and Mom crying even more.

            I believe Dr. Davis stopped around one, but I never went down stairs to greet him.

            Despite the fact that I was nervous and grieving I was able to sleep well that night.

            In the morning I walked into the kitchen to find that no one was around. I nibbled on a cinnamon roll and went back upstairs. I dressed and was in the car before anyone else. Today was the day of the funeral.

            Hours before the funeral started people were lining in front of Kiya’s casket. I found a spot in the back. It was a couch but I sat there watching people come and go.

Mom and Dad were strong. They would kindly greet people and thank them for coming. Wade sat with Mary Jo in a pew. She held his hand, but he showed no emotion.

            The world around me was a blur. People would come, say their sympathy and be on their way to their normal lives. The problems was that when I go home nothing will be the same.

            Flowers surround Kiya’s casket. The combination of the smell gave me a headache, so I stayed away.  

            I peered out side in time to watch the clouds roll in. While no one was looking I wiped away the tears.

            “Will?” Someone said gently beside me.

            It was Leo.

            “Go away.” I whispered. I couldn’t stop crying and that made me fell terrible. The tears just fell into my lap and faded into my black skirt.

            “My Mom…” He started.

            “It’s fine, I’m fine.” I said sticking my hand out.

            “I’m sorry for your lost.” He crocked out.

            “Your Mom wanted you to tell me that?” I said crossing my arms.

            “Well me too.”

            “Leo I’m tired, my head hurts. I…”

            “Just say ‘Thank You’ and I’ll tell my Mom I told you.” He sighed.

            My mouth was frozen not sure how to responded. How in the world could I be thankful right now?

            Leo waited. “Well…”
            “Tell your mom, she’s a good women.” Then I added. “And that you’re a good guy.”

            I put my hand over the back of my mouth trying to quill the tears.

            His gaze shifted as I finally stopped crying.

            “My Mom set a muffin basket. I told her you would eat that.”

            “You remembered something about me?” I asked surprised.   

            “How could I not? You’re such a… defensive person.”

            “Now’s not the time.” I said. 

            “Well I’ll leave you alone then.”

            Once he was gone I threw my head back felling the blood leave my face. I was trying to ignore the people around me.

            I knew that the eulogy would be given soon so I made my way to the casket. Before I could get there Dr. Davis stopped me.

            “Wilma I’ll send your money to you soon. Don’t worry about working this week.”

            “It’s okay…” I drifted off.

            “You need to let your self grieve Wilma. Too many of people have rushed grieving and end up a nervous brake down.”

            “No really Dr. Davis…”

“You know you don’t have to work anymore of you don’t want to. You can quit. You know, if you want to.” He interrupted.

            “No.” I said firmly. “I still need something to do.”

            “I’m sorry for your lost.” He said. I turned away not sure of what to say.

            “I’m going to see Kiya now.”

            I came to the casket feeling as if my insides had turned to jell-o. Her skin had a unrecognizable pallor and clamminess to it.

            Slowly I slide my hand on to her face. Her cold, stiff skin never gave in. I pushed harder but all I felt was bone. I could tell that her veins were no longer carrying blood.

            Then I slide my hand towards her hair. I was told that Mom paid our beautician to fix Kiya’s hair. Her hair was normal, but was swapping away from her head.

            I longed to grab the hand I had held so many times. I wanted my head to be filled with the sound of her voice. I want to so much and it felt as if my insides where being hallowed out.

            Under the pillow was a white corner sticking out. I started pulled at the end. A folded piece of paper slide out from under the silk pillow. Clearly written on the front was ‘Kiya’. I would feel my stomach twist was I realized that it was the letter I was written for Kiya incase she woke up.

            Suddenly I could feel my face become numb. Little speckles of light flooded my vision. Next thing I knew Dr. Davis was holding me.

            “Wilma?” He asked.

            “I tripped.”  I whispered.

            “I know.” He nodded. “But why don’t we say that you passed out to your Mom?”

            He helped me into a pew. People was standing around staring. The pastor who was about to give the eulogy rushed off to get me something to eat. One women got a wheelchair for me.

            Dr. Davis took me to his house where I was able to skip the rest of the funeral.