Blind Date # 9

Now I am at # 9,
And I really thought things would go fine,
We had coffee and desert,
I even thought we had started to flirt,
She wouldn't let me pay the bill,
That was really no big deal,
Then we walked out to the car,
I touched her and must have went to far,
It wasn't like her neck got licked,
But in the groaning I was kicked,
Put me right down to the floor,
Then she kicked me even more,
Smoke seemed to come from her ears,
Then she cried and I could see the tears,
She bent down and took my hand,
Even helped so I could stand,
I was a bit weak,
But she even kissed my cheek,
So I kissed her back,
Oh my God another attack,
I got an elbow to the nose,
My eyes even began to close,
Then slapped across the face,
And sprayed with some mace,
Next she hugged me tight,
Asking if I'd like to spend the night,
I was in total shock,
Her car she started to unlock,
She open up the door,
And moved the things off the floor,
I started to take a seat,
But she stomped on my feet,
Once again I was down,
And she was above me on the ground,
She pulled me close and hugged me tight,
All I could say was good night,
Then she seemed to get mad,
And to be a little sad,
She even asked if I would call,
I told her there was no chance at all,
She seemed to get irate,
Saying that we could still date,
Must have been something that I missed,
Because my lips she then kissed,
What the hell happened there,
Is what I thought as at her I could only stare,
Hoping that I wouldn't get,
Another kick or just hit,
I got up and limped away,
Because in the end she did let me pay!

An Uncle Charlie Original