Blind Date # 1

I went out on a blind date,
I was early and she was late,
She wanted a drink before we dined,
I had coffee and she had wine,
We looked at the menu and I ordered a meal,
She wasn't hungry no big deal,
The drink in her hand didn't last,
And they didn't refill it near as fast,
To the the restroom I am going she'd say,
And she bumped every table on the way,
A bit later she opened the door,
And all she bumped was the floor,
I got up to give her a hand,
On my jaw is where her fist would land,
Then I offered to call her a cab,
Into my belly she gave a hard jab,
Wasn't sure what next to do,
But this date just had to be through,
I got her a drink and picked up the check,
Even gave her a kiss on the neck,
In my hand was my keys,
Told her, I needed a tissue before I could sneeze,
To my car I quickly walked,
My God I hope I won't be stalked,
I went home just as quick as I could,
That blind date was no good!

An Uncle Charlie Original