The Internal Mausoleum

The Internal Mausoleum

A Poem by uncbaseballgirl
"

Some of my first work from back in the day

"

My tears fell like petals from a flower
Energy is drained from me, surging into a new power

These thoughts intricately woven into disaster
As my mind gives in to the voices, the master

Slowly fading into existences' mournful regrets
Where the darkness is present and the black moon never sets

My heart bleeds through holes of past scars
Enclosed in a cage made of my memories bars

This world devised from my own pain
The land of misery and embarrassing shame

Its where I dwell inside myself
Where no one can come to the rescue or help

© 2008 uncbaseballgirl


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Reviews

This is a great poe...I think that it deservs a more ,,spectacular,, ending, than a simple statement of a sad fact. Make it a little more abstract.

It's well penned, and palpable.

Good write sista', good write.

A.M.

Posted 15 Years Ago


it wa definately unique... and was misspelled i caught that one.
I think the rhythm of it could be improved a little, but i do think you are on to soemthing here, and you are obviously talented

Posted 16 Years Ago


An interesting read. A life built on unending pain and a bleeding heart trapped behind bars does seem like youthful angst, but the second line implies the knowledge that this too shall pass and acknowledges that after the tears, we can move on. My old age tends to put that thought at the end of a piece rather at the beginning... but then youthful angst once gripped us all.

Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad I read this.
papaed

Posted 16 Years Ago



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131 Views
3 Reviews
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Added on April 14, 2008
Last Updated on April 14, 2008

Author

uncbaseballgirl
uncbaseballgirl

Chapel Hill, NC



About
I love baseball and unc. I love writing, swimming, and anything inspirational with depth. more..

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