Two Thousand Pounds

You laid your point of view upon me
      it weighed two thousand pounds
A ton of reality dawned on me
      brought my knees beyond the ground
The volume of your perspective
      reached the blind depths of my core
Condensing my every emotion
      into the tears now on the floor
With tarnished claws you scraped my eyes
      opened them to truths
Bleeding them for the sacrifice
      made for me to see in sooth
Two thousand pounds of guilt
      a ton of shame prepared and served
With bittersweet sauce of recognition
      A dish that is deserved
      
    

Author's Note

Dedicated to someone special, you know who you are....

Reviews

[Astro]

I love this one KJ there's a great lesson to be learned sometimes when we are made to see the truth no matter how painful it may be for someone to get us to see it. Then the shame and guilt set in, like being a child who does not want to eat but is made to sit in front of a plate of food with no desire to take a bite, but knowing that if they do they will be able to move past the obstacle to our true desires. Great job.

[TL Boehm]

The volume of your perspective
reached the blind depths of my core
WOW.
I prefer the tender touch to the bludgeoning but sometimes I guess we get an elephant dropped on us instead of a butterfly. a formidable write

[Perkele.7885]

'With bittersweet sauce of recognition', a nice line for any rhyme! Was this something that was not seen coming?....before it was too late?

[gombeggar]

reads very well...such a downer though

[Chris]

THAT was a lifesize swat...

[Leonard Birch]

A well written piece Keely. Thank you!

[MoriartyMesa]

Dedication is a weight upon its self. Nice work, little brushes to make it shine.

[Dana Alsamsam]

feeling guilty and as if you deserve every ounce of the guilt may be one of the worst feelings a human could possibly experience when it is coming from someone that they truly care about. this pieces rhyme flowed very well. great job!

[ron]

Thats a lot of guilt for one person to bare. Very nicely writen. It made me feel guilty.

[Mark]

Heavy words you wrote here, they have a weight that I feel even though not involved.