Waterfall

I've cried a river
A river for the lost
When my tears flooded the muddy banks
You skipped rocks across

I've waded in these waters
Waited in vain
When my river turned to rapids
You stood ashore still the same

I don't know how high this mountain
If its range reaches you at all
But there is a river running down its face
So much more than a waterfall

Reviews

[Aethereal]

This poem of your gets my imagination churning. It inspired me to write this tiny gift mono-rhyme for you to keep as your own:


Tears of the Lost

Rivers and seas tempest tossed
filled with sad tears of the lost
touching lands drenched in cold frost,
Toppling tall peaks never crossed.

[Constance Payne]

There is sadness in this that is so open.

Very nice

[emmajoy]

There are secret thoughts and emotions running through this, portrayed by that river and waterfall. Wwater really is the near indesructable path our feelings suffer and seems you were alone, hopeful for help but .. You use words wisely, phrase very smoothly, lovely work but sad.

[David Wesley]

Ooooh wow... very sad. Very big metaphor. Really liked the contrast between the river and the mountain, the rapids, the waterfall.

=)

[Frieda P]

Fascinating imagery, I love the flow of this one, took me right along the rapids Keeley.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

I like the transition of this write... the waterfall is changing pace within each stanza... still the reconcile is missing... the second just gives more anguish and then the last passage really turns this verse... gives the reader a sense of resilience... takes everything in for what it's worth...

[shallimarRose]

Nice flow and imagery. Beautiful use of metaphor.. shallimarRose

[Ency Bearis]

A unique write and well presented with great imagery.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Such beautiful images in this one that play so well with your deeply woven emotional tapestry. I love the last two lines...just cryptic enough that we can make our own conclusions and draw upon those thoughts to lead us in a certain direction. I'm in love with the lines:

When my tears flooded the muddy banks
You skipped rocks across

Such fantastic imagery... So nicely written in such a concise form.

[Perkele.7885]

I like your imagery but, i think to whom you are speaking to in this poem may perhaps be dense! Thankfully, tears are cathartic.