Joint Forces

It’s   like   every   stress   and   strain

Meets   with   all   my   tears   and   pain

              And   they   plot   sabotage

An   ambush   of   circumstance   and   situation

Struggles   dissertation

              Joining   forces   to   drop   me

            Divinely   intervening   to   stop   me

Because    I’ve   been   on   this   road   for   too   long

I   am   the   lyrics   to   a   skipping   song

                      I   can’t

                     I   can’t

                    I  can’t

I  can’t   go   on

No   matter   how   strong

I   claim   to   be

I   am   wrong

              When  it  rains  it  pours  for  a  reason

              Telltale   signs   of   an   approaching   season

Spring   from  Fall

Because   I  fall

 I   fell

And   am  still  falling

The   desperate   in   me   is   calling

Punishing   me   for   stalling

Screaming, “Don’t    let   your   yesterdays

Be   your   tomorrows,   Dah’ling!”

Reviews

[Astro]

Nice 'accent' in the end. lol. I like the imagination and flow of this very much, with its conspiratorial stifling and skipping stagnancy. Some yesterdays can be invaluable others just weigh you down, so empty your emotional pockets and "Walk Tall".

[Pete Langley]

This is a sad poem which doesn`t seem to look for answers, but just describes the misery. I sympathise with the depth of despair, but cannot find much poetry in the piece. Sorry. P.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This has such clear echoes of confusion and desperation.

[B-poet]

Loved the last stanza as it spoke such volumes of epic proportions in terms of never holding on to the past. The written structure was very creative as well as. Great work. A compelling write and read. :)

[Robert Lindsay]

It is a pretty well written depiction of a mood written from within the crushing embrace of the mood. I agree that it is a bit obscure because reasons are mentioned but never clarified.
Also desperation rather than desperate maybe? And that inner voice at the end.. Yourself or old advice-giving Auntie Vera? Hope my feedback helps.

[David Lewis Paget]

The meaning is rather obscure to me. It doesn't go into specifics, such as what stresses and strains? What circumstances and situations? It seems to hunt around the problem without actually pinpointing it.
The layout is interesting, but it seems to be a cry for help without enlightening the respondent. A bit like a man calling for an ambulance, and when asked 'What for?' he replies, 'because I need one!'

[Rita L. Sev]

The form gives an impact to the reading that works well. Great concluding lines - don't let yesterday be your tomorrows - excellent advice! Good use of nature imagery. Well done, Keely!

[Marie]

Keely I really can't say anythng about this poem. I am not a real poet and don't review them well.

[KeelyJane]

I appreciate you taking the time to stop by and read anyway. Thanks so much.

[Aethereal]

You certainly got your point across in this poem. It inspired me to write a gift poem for you which you may keep as your own since I used so many of your ideas and words within it:

Sabotage

Don't repeat your yesterdays
bringing pain and tears.
Don't engage destructive ways
that give flesh to fears.

Sabotage is treason
bringing stress and strain.
Storms hit for a reason
with hail, wind, and rain.

[KeelyJane]

I love it! Thanks for sharing and letting me inspire you. That is always flattery of the greatest kind.

[Constance Payne]

I love and understand the disconnection of this. It does seem to pour when it rains and the fates seem to work hard to stop us from doing what it is that we want to do.

Very nicely written.