Joint Forces

It’s   like   every   stress   and   strain

Meets   with   all   my   tears   and   pain

              And   they   plot   sabotage

An   ambush   of   circumstance   and   situation

Struggles   dissertation

              Joining   forces   to   drop   me

            Divinely   intervening   to   stop   me

Because    I’ve   been   on   this   road   for   too   long

I   am   the   lyrics   to   a   skipping   song

                      I   can’t

                     I   can’t

                    I  can’t

I  can’t   go   on

No   matter   how   strong

I   claim   to   be

I   am   wrong

              When  it  rains  it  pours  for  a  reason

              Telltale   signs   of   an   approaching   season

Spring   from  Fall

Because   I  fall

 I   fell

And   am  still  falling

The   desperate   in   me   is   calling

Punishing   me   for   stalling

Screaming, “Don’t    let   your   yesterdays

Be   your   tomorrows,   Dah’ling!”

Reviews

[Astro]

Nice 'accent' in the end. lol. I like the imagination and flow of this very much, with its conspiratorial stifling and skipping stagnancy. Some yesterdays can be invaluable others just weigh you down, so empty your emotional pockets and "Walk Tall".

[TL Boehm]

I can relate to this so well. It seems that on any given day I am an emotional trainwreck. I write about it but not as eloquently.

[Perkele.7885]

My joints are always forcing me to do this or not that. Especially the knees. No matter what my brain may say, the knees captain this ship! Ah, for an easy chair with a mind, I would not have to use mine! Nice write here, Keely!

[Mark]

I love off kilter rhymes. This feels like a rap... really good work!

[Chris]

"Dah'ling" really, really fit the flow.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

An ambush of circumstance and situation -- great line!

I really felt the depth of this one in terms of emotion and delving into the unknown. Don't let the past rule your life; do not be shackled by those things that cannot be changed, instead move forward with the knowledge that each and every day is another chance to become what you most desire.

I really enjoyed the wordplay in this one, especially: "Spring to Fall/Because I fall/I fell/And am still falling"--strong emotions here.

[gombeggar]

reads real well...probably would be a good one 2 read aloud

[Dana Alsamsam]

your use of rhyme is lovely and interesting! the flow was great and this whole piece felt like run off water from a storm scampering along rocks. i really enjoyed these lines:
"Spring from Fall
Because I fall
I fell
And am still falling"
lovely!

[gggg]

You see it coming. You think you should be able stop it, but probably won't, even though you have learned from past experience. And that in itself only adds to the downfall. That is what I read, what it means to me. I like it.

[kublakhan27]

What can I say, I know how this feels...self-esteem was never one of my strongest suits and this one speaks to me for that reason...I love some of the wordplay scattered throughout, and the lyrics to a skipping song was a great analogy...I can relate to that one too because I have records haha...well done Keely :)

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Indeed we must, a great picece, well done.