Daffodil

If only
you would set your sights upon me
wrap your thoughts around my being
Take me into your focus,
see what I'm seeing

I see a blossom
a bud reaching to bloom
pollinated with potential
and standing its ground

Do you see roses?
Am I the flower that you'd pick?
The seeds that we planted
don't grow for granted
My stem no walking stick


If only
you would tend the gardens
If only
you would notice
that beneath all the weeds
there's you and there's me
what we had
and it's seeds

Do you see the petals?
Ready to spread like wings
fly open and absorb your sun
I will grow for you
A daffodil
I will become

If only
you would thaw
the frozen surface of heart
where deep roots are buried

Let our season restart

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

"My stem no walking stick"

the sad description of so many relationships that want to work, want to grow, but could never if one of the people will not water the plants so to speak. this metaphorical piece was laced with a tangible pain and hopelessness. awesome work!

(i will slowly get to many of your RR's- i look forward to reading more!)

[B-poet]

Profound written eloquence at its best. Loved the distinctive imagery at hand here. Great work. A riveting write and read. :)

[Simon Welsh]

Oh lovely. This is well written! Love the flow.

[Rita L. Sev]

Love and gardens need constant tending... nicely done, Keely.

[gombeggar]

interesting parable here ...needs some tightening up or focus maybe

[h d e rushin]

"do you see the roses?
am I the flower that you'd pick?
The seeds that we planted
don't grow for granted,
my stem no walking stick."

do you ever wish keelyjane that you could do something that you try and try but just can't master.
for me it is to rhyme with meaning and certainty. this you do with quality and resolution.
this stanza represents, to me, perfection.

dana

[David Lewis Paget]

Plaintive, and that final verse
...................thaw
the frozen surface of heart
where deep roots are buried

Let our season restart

That, for me, is the kicker. If only all our seasons could restart...