Love Milk

Love Milk

A Poem by KeelyJane

Like the first taste of mothers milk,
I crave
You've breast fed my soul;
nurtured my famished heart

This infant love;
 passion child
Let it suckle,
So it can grow

Your love does my body good





© 2013 KeelyJane


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I can see where using milk as a metaphor for love seems like a good idea, I think as a concept it has a lot of potential. However, I simply cannot take this piece seriously after the line "You've breast fed my soul". Personally I would have been a little more abstract with my treatment of this subject, say what you mean without saying it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

excellent metaphor.....and very glad that's what it is indeed, for mothers milk tastes absolutely awful....very clever write, Keely Jane

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful little poem. Short and sweet. Nice

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is really an interesting metaphor. So true that this is what love can feel like, makes us helpless like an infant and leaves us craving to be nourished by our beloved. One to ponder - great piece!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Beautiful, KJ, short and sweet and beautiful

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is light, but not light...it's hopeful and a bit yearning, I believe. At the same time playful....hopeful, yearning, playful....new love indeed. The metaphor may be a little uncomfortable, but I understand your choices and the 2nd (stanza) eases the quizzical aftertaste of the first. Nicely done KJ.

CM.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sweet and very loving. Great job!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Oddly intriguing metaphor Keely, well done you. Like this succinct little statement.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very refined mind...excellent work in writ!!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lovely gentle use of metaphor in a short and well constructed piece Keely

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Interesting piece very good

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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3907 Views
30 Reviews
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Added on April 27, 2013
Last Updated on April 27, 2013

Author

KeelyJane
KeelyJane

Albuquerque, NM



About
I'm just a girl with a lifetime of experiences. I've taken from those experiences what can be put into words and poetically put them together to share with all of you. These are my contributions. .. more..

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