Love Milk

Love Milk

A Poem by KeelyJane

Like the first taste of mothers milk,
I crave
You've breast fed my soul;
nurtured my famished heart

This infant love;
 passion child
Let it suckle,
So it can grow

Your love does my body good





© 2013 KeelyJane


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I can see where using milk as a metaphor for love seems like a good idea, I think as a concept it has a lot of potential. However, I simply cannot take this piece seriously after the line "You've breast fed my soul". Personally I would have been a little more abstract with my treatment of this subject, say what you mean without saying it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I can see where using milk as a metaphor for love seems like a good idea, I think as a concept it has a lot of potential. However, I simply cannot take this piece seriously after the line "You've breast fed my soul". Personally I would have been a little more abstract with my treatment of this subject, say what you mean without saying it.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

amusing...but it does lend itself to an Oedipus complex fer sure

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice! Love can poison however.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

interesting concept. I like your creativity. you have a great mind. your writing speaks volumes about who you are and that says a lot.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great use of the pop culture reference, to add impact to an interesting scenario regarding the way we feel about our lovers. Good one.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A wonderful metaphor well said and done.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a beautiful thought very well expressed but somehow the mother's milk parallel just did not work for me. Thanks for the RR anyway.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The power of the thought turns this short piece into a sort of poem. However, there is a wee problem here - you cannot crave like the first taste of mother's milk - it doesn't make sense. It needs changing > 'I crave for your love: it is like the first taste of mother's milk...' ?


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

In some correction, did you mean 'to feed my soul'?

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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3910 Views
30 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 27, 2013
Last Updated on April 27, 2013

Author

KeelyJane
KeelyJane

Albuquerque, NM



About
I'm just a girl with a lifetime of experiences. I've taken from those experiences what can be put into words and poetically put them together to share with all of you. These are my contributions. .. more..

Writing

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