Heart Attack

Loving you is gonna kill me
Suffocate my internal breath
Bring life to my emotions
Send my heart to its death

Taking the part of me I feel the most
In exchange for a promise made of sand
Where grains of pain will fall through
Leaving me  in the palm of your hand

The vein that carries my love
Exposes far within my chest
Where ruby tears of the cardiac 
Are in emotional arrest

Reviews

[A. H. Pinley]

Love is a miracle in life. We can't explain attraction aside from the obvious, but love is something entirely different. The love that a mother has for a child that would have her sacrifice everything for her child even if it kills her. The love shared between spouses for richer or poor, in sickness and health, for better or worse, love has this beautiful characteristic about it that I'm almost willing to bet leave scientist baffled. Good work!

[Baby Ricochet]

Good rhyming and meter

[Mother Maggie]

Your work is sublime. Love is the courage to throw yourself from the precipice coupled with the faith the Beloved aka your beloved will not let you fall...

Namaste

[Mary Christabel George]

Emotional touch...
Very Deep.........
And I loved this one the most -

"Taking the part of me I feel the most
In exchange for a promise made of sand
Where grains of pain will fall through
Leaving me in the palm of your hand".

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You know, I once told someone "You're going to end up breaking my heart"...sadly, it happened. I can relate to this piece. You have a lot of emotion in this little poem, and it is very vivid and powerful. I love the last two lines...fantastic.

[s y e]

Wow, dont let it kill you for starters!

This is a deep, honest write. Well done. Screams out.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Very sad piece, moving and thought provoking :) great write.

[Jack...]

Wow, sounds like this love is going a bit too far.

[J. F. Charleston]

Awesome! Are you a professional poet? You're pieces sure do scream it. This piece is really, really good. The overall emotion leaves me speechless!

[h d e rushin]

The first stanza seems so Dickinsonian in it's psychological suffering.
But the rhyme skeme was so true and active. Nicely written. I think
sometimes you write with instinct as if these hurts you write about
are your hurts.

Whatever,
I am a fan.
dana

[Robin]

Emotional, and very lovely. Excellent comparisons. I loved this poem.