You Wanna Know About Pain?

I remember days wasted and endless nights with no sleep
You wanna know about pain, I'll tell ya
I've been hurt three layers deep

Beneath my skin, beyond my heart, into my very essence
Where love makes it's way and teaches
One of life's most valuable lessons

Pleasure has a dark side, a few alter egos lying dormant
When the time is right, behold
Anguish and agony, torture and torment

You wanna know about pain, I'll tell ya
Mind you, my words only have so much weight
You wanna know about pain...
Fall in love and just wait

Reviews

[MoriartyMesa]

The mind splits between someone being tied to a bed and their capture standing over them with a riding crop. And an insane car ride with someone a person should have called but didn't. Maybe I am wrong, but this was deep with a dark hint of something else.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I've often wondered why people such as myself tend to put themselves in positions to have their hearts broken...the dark side of love. It's a problem that I have. I liked this write.

[Frieda P]

Now you tell me! Can feel the pain in this one Keely...

[Alex P.]

I like this one too, it's very raw, and a little cynical. Exactly like somebody who's had their hearts broken, especially in response to someone who hasn't. I really like your work, although I am sorry for what you must have had to feel in order to hit the nail on the head like you have. Peace and be blessed.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A good rhyming poem. Lovely rhyme, essence and lessons, the last line is the killer. A small amount of crafting would improve the flow.

[John F Carver]

I hope you can get over it... I don't know how the hell I did, but now I can love without waiting for the meltdown at the end. I wish you well. Aw hell, words smell, but I do wish you well.

[ChemicalMadness]

Really like the final two lines. I read this mainly as a commentary, so it's tough to critique. If you wanted to expand the piece, I'd like to see some vivid imagery or have you paint us a scene or two to give a concreteness to your vision. I think this could be a very good prelude to a deeper piece...should you choose to go that direction. Hope that helps....