Goodbye Circus

I am done
Finished
Completely over with this ride
Up in the hills beyond my hearts valley
I roll down
down
down
The twists and the turns have done me in
Into what I am
Where I'm at
What I see
Who I never want to know again
Because it hurts, it was scary
It was a heavy load no one should have to carry
Like a trapeze swinging, only bringing
disappointment
and me
falling
to my knees
The weight of Love's Carnival
Juggling emotions and jumping through hoops
Trying to balance my sanity, dreaming of fruit loops
and candy
and swirls
and peanuts
I go nuts, doing donuts
Spinning in circles, in this cycle
This unicycle of just me
Going round and round
alone
The Clown

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

i really enjoy how your form allows the words to flow down and around, just as the poem says! if you look at it visually without reading the words it even looks a bit like a roller coaster form the side. the small circus like images in there gave this such a unique vibe that i really enjoyed. you capped it off perfectly with that last line!

[Mother Maggie]

In life and in love, we all play the clown sometimes. Bravo, wonderful work.

[Veronica Chandler]

I have to wonder if the clown is a metaphor for a person going through the struggles of life and love itself... The carnival and circus evocative of the ride that can accompany relationship. The heavy load no one should have to carry and swinging back and forth and "the weight of loves carnival juggling emotions and jumping through hoops. Sure sound like relationship to me, but alas...I can be a bit of a cynic. Then again I may be way out in left field. In any case I did so enjoy the write...which left me kind of sad.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I really like this, it's unique. I found it to be emotional yet fun with the words you chose. I like the story of your words from the beginning middle and end, I especially like the ending though, starting here:
" The weight of Love's Carnival
Juggling emotions and jumping through hoops
Trying to balance my sanity, dreaming of fruit loops
and candy
and swirls
and peanuts
I go nuts, doing donuts
Spinning in circles, in this cycle
This unicycle of just me
Going round and round
alone
The Clown"

[David Aiello]

you have mastered a disorienting and accelerating method of visceral image-movement-portrayal in this one; (said the digi-stranger)

wild, inward-braiding, moving, crashing to it's halt with a sense of such wicked isolation...

What muse you whispered to to entreat such visions, I hope she treats you well.
Your work is excellent (in the view of one such as myself)
And as a fellow human being, kindly and at the last,

We are all clowns. We become wizards and alchemists, when the spheres fly to our tempo, as opposed to seeking to catch up to theirs.

Gravity; Don't let it get you down. ~ contact juggler credo

[ChemicalMadness]

I like the pace of this one. Frenetic and a touch frantic, it conveys your feelings well. I would do away with convention here and there, for example, getting rid of "in" at the end of line 8 and letting "me" flow directly into "into". Dropping the "in this cycle" so the lines read "spinning in circles, this unicycle of just me"....things like that. Overall, I think you've laid down plenty to work with here, should you choose to.
CM

[John F Carver]

Excellent I could feel the unnatural motions and wondered about how it seemed to fit the rollercoaster rather than the circus or carnival, but I have to admit the pretense is a big part of the picture that image would not have captured. The going through the motions aspect of a circus being far more suitable to your subject.

[kublakhan27]

This is a great piece...clowns are incredibly fascinating characters, which offers a lot of room for interpretation...I like this one very much :)

[Pete Langley]

This is the best poem I1ve read of yours, Keely Jane. The progression is smooth and carried me into the analogy effortlessly. I especially liked "up in the hills above my heart`s valley". This is good poetry. P.

[Jack...]

Love at times is a 3 ring circus, though sometimes the clowns are not the ones smiling. Very cool

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A most stylish and guiding look at love!