You, Me, Us

At times

So happy

Like children running wild and free

Impartial to the minutes, hours, days that pass so suddenly

Together in a world apart

A lovers sanctuary

The world of you and me

REAL

CONTENT

COMPLETE

At times

So blind

Like eyes without the light

Unable to recognize, realize, remedy the things cause a fight

Both our eyes blurred

Dark as night

Vision not right

RESENT

HURT

SPITE

At times

So sexual

Like primal porn stars

Passionately needing, wanting, endulging this chemistry of ours 

So into eachother

Deep spaces

Seeing stars

HARD

PASSION

LUST

At times

So perfect

Like the truth that sets us free

Connected souls, spirits, hearts beating simultaneously

One with eachother

Meant to be

Naturally

LOVE

ALWAYS

STRONG

Reviews

[ANTO]

I like the visual - like links in a chain which of course stanzas are with or without space.
Life is an ocean and love is a boat (sorry I took that from a fav song of mines but its applicable here KJ) and the voyage is never smooth. You captured real-life here.
X

[Sami Khalil]

I really like the format and the wording...Thank you for penning...:)

[jinxxnij]

Great format. Loved every line. You kick a*s at this poetry writing stuff.

[A. H. Pinley]

Very original, keep up the great work!

[T. Val]

I like how you broke this down into sections. You wrote this well. Brief, but the point came across well without being cliché. Well done.

[Renée]

You caught the roller coaster .... it is like this..nicely done !

[kublakhan27]

Very unique, I love the form and the way it all unfolds...well done :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

This strong and sensual piece, stunning and captivating words play. love it!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Keely a strong, sensual and passionate poem that flows well except for one line:
'Unable to recognize, realize, remedy the things cause a fight'
Maybe:
'Unable to recognize, realize, remedy what causes fights'

[quinfinn]

i hate to wax cliche but, we always hurt the ones we love. this is a very solid and powerful write. it is beautifully written.