Forget From Hate

Tugging at my memories

      scraping remnants from their walls

Tearing down what used to be

       stripping naked, bearing walls

Torturing my recollections

      haunting the vacant space within my chest

Slowly darkening the days

      turning them black, just as the rest

Feeding on what I once knew

      starving what I know now

Killing all that was

      erasing my mind somehow

Abandoned love

      breeds dark resent

It hides in shadows

      hunting memory hell bent

I don't want to forget you

       still slowly you fade

Absence makes fonder

      only hearts not hate made

Reviews

[Astro]

There are some really great lines in this one KJ, in this one in particular, I couldn't help but fumble a bit as I wanted to rewrite the line slightly. "Tearing down what used to be
stripping naked, bearing walls" I'm not sure, but I really wanted to change "bearing walls" to "baring all", it seemed to go with the 'naked' reference and it saved the line of a repetitive word to rhyme with. Good one.

[Frieda P]

Why is it the hateful memories seem to demand more air time, this one says a lot. Well said, I like the message in this, smooth read.

[AYVID N]

Whatever said and written, break-ups are almost always accompanied by bad blood. This has not changed from the time of evolution. Amicable is rare. I love it.

[quinfinn]

how can one live for the now while they are feeding on the past? i love this write! it is oddly familiar to me not because the wording is similar but because i have written this same sentiment so many times in many different ways. awesome write!

[Coyote Poetry]

Hate and disappointment can blind us. I like the poem. Good description allowed the reader to feel the anger and desire to fight anger. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Well I don't agree about this one. I liked the tone and you have a distinct rhythm but I think I have commented on the rhyming trap before. You use the word walls twice in the first four lines which does not seem to add to the piece. And later the lines seem forced in order to fit a rhyme. Your style suits free verse better.

[kublakhan27]

I love your flow and your sense of rhyme...those sordid memories just refuse to die sometimes...another fine piece Keely^^