Forget From Hate

Forget From Hate

A Poem by KeelyJane

Tugging at my memories

      scraping remnants from their walls

Tearing down what used to be

       stripping naked, bearing walls

Torturing my recollections

      haunting the vacant space within my chest

Slowly darkening the days

      turning them black, just as the rest

Feeding on what I once knew

      starving what I know now

Killing all that was

      erasing my mind somehow

Abandoned love

      breeds dark resent

It hides in shadows

      hunting memory hell bent

I don't want to forget you

       still slowly you fade

Absence makes fonder

      only hearts not hate made

© 2013 KeelyJane


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There are some really great lines in this one KJ, in this one in particular, I couldn't help but fumble a bit as I wanted to rewrite the line slightly. "Tearing down what used to be
stripping naked, bearing walls" I'm not sure, but I really wanted to change "bearing walls" to "baring all", it seemed to go with the 'naked' reference and it saved the line of a repetitive word to rhyme with. Good one.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

nicely done...a good eraser poem indeed

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You portray pain really well.......

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There are some really great lines in this one KJ, in this one in particular, I couldn't help but fumble a bit as I wanted to rewrite the line slightly. "Tearing down what used to be
stripping naked, bearing walls" I'm not sure, but I really wanted to change "bearing walls" to "baring all", it seemed to go with the 'naked' reference and it saved the line of a repetitive word to rhyme with. Good one.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hearts can be hate made. I like.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Great poem, well written.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Absence makes fonder
only hearts not hate made...

This is a good line; I feel like it would make a great opening line to a follow-up piece.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Now I aint an educated man like most of my learned reviewers here, (Google Professors imo) this came from a dark place in the heart and it aint like you can map it. I enjoyed this because it was honest.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Abandoned love

breeds dark resent

It hides in shadows

hunting memory hell bent


I don't want to forget you

still slowly you fade

Absence makes fonder

only hearts not hate made"
A very nice write and the ending was magnificent...:)


Posted 11 Years Ago


I can feel the loud scream of your inner thought, life is a complex world to deal with and being alone after breaking up is the hard things to do.

But I am suggesting for spin up for this piece, some of the words are monotonous.

Great job!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A nice piece!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 18, 2013
Last Updated on March 18, 2013

Author

KeelyJane
KeelyJane

Albuquerque, NM



About
I'm just a girl with a lifetime of experiences. I've taken from those experiences what can be put into words and poetically put them together to share with all of you. These are my contributions. .. more..

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