To Laugh in Falling Rain
Gorgons in the grasses by my window
Phantoms in the corridors of mind,
Elves and Angels flit amongst the fairies
But Godhead is the hardest thing to find.
Experiments with rationale confound me
Argument, well meaning, leaves me cold,
I've thrashed it out with he who has seen the Holy See
But futility has left me feeling old.
Millions feel the joy of their religion
Base their lives on regimental right,
Alone I meet the day and feel no need to pray,
And stride with independence to the night.
I read your words of beauty for your Maker
I felt the passion living on the page,
I cried for your belief and in so doing, felt relief
For the singer not the song, for me, engaged.
So there, my beauty, lies our living quandary
For you and I the chemistry's the same.
For you with God in hand inhabit my agnostic land
And simultaneously, we exult in falling rain.
Marshalg
To Christine and Anselm, with happiness in having found new friends.
The Pukehana Paradise
Auckland
12 March 2013
This beautiful piece brought a spirit of joy into my heart and lit my world with brilliant light. What a joy it is to read your take on happiness.
"Happiness is the food
which life truly feeds."
Gorgeous!
"Swallow the feeling
because you know it's your own,
capture that moment
when Happiness is known"
The highlighting factor of the poem. Well written Keely. Makes a good read :)
A glittering piece full of life and hope, almost hymn-like...positive emotions are always the hardest to put into words, which is what makes this piece such a treasure...lovely work Keely :)
You've had 11 reviews already and I have little more to offer. If a poem is going to be a celebration, which is what this one is, it needs to have fewer abstract sentences - the first two lines exemplify this. Try to use language containing the appropriate emotive images.
Hard to argue with the positive message here :). I think this stands as a good compilation of "happiness one-liners". The subject matter connects each of the thoughts, but taken as a single piece of work, I'm still looking for a little more cohesiveness to bind one line to the next. I am, as you can tell, looking at this as a piece to be critiqued "academically", with an eye for improvement - so these are just my personal reactions....as an emotional piece unto itself and as a reflection of your thoughts, it's great. BUT ;)....I agree with everything Girl Friday said, especially regarding the use of you/your. I'd also like to see some imagery, which would elevate this to a higher form of art....happiness is the place every beating heart needs is OK. Finding a way to illustrate this place, THEN tell us every heart needs that place? More powerful, in my book. Just some thoughts. Thanks for the RR.
I'm just a girl with a lifetime of experiences. I've taken from those experiences what can be put into words and poetically put them together to share with all of you. These are my contributions.
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