Who Wins

There seems to me to always be that little strand of hope

at the bottom of my heart, resting

Behind my fed up eyes are the tears I still cry

and  this anger that's been manifesting

For as much as I want there is just as much as I need

but even that never stopped me

I can't hold on yet I can't let go

so you'll just have to drop me

The weight of the blame is so much more than the shame

and we carry this load taking turns

No matter who ignites the flame, the heats always the same

and it burns

I can't win for losing, I'm no good at choosing

the things that are best and it shows

If I had my way, we would all be okay

but lets face it, that's not how this goes

I love you now like I loved you then

only this time I'm loving me more

If you can compete with that you know where I'm at

Please feel free to even the score

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

"I can't hold on yet I can't let go
so you'll just have to drop me"

that line is so poignant. the emotion there is most definitely felt. i really like how this piece evolves from a severe pain to the realization that you are the only person who can save yourself. loving yourself is the first step and you will only accept this person back if they learn to love you that much or more. great write!

[D.E. Walters]

Brilliantly written. Brought up memories of a lost love that was hard to let go of. Excellent job! :)

[quinfinn]

there is no bargaining with love. it is either there or it is gone. one side or the other, if both sides don't balance it is a doomed situation. been there, done that. no more will i chase a one sided romance...might as well chase your tail like some deranged puppy. awesome write, dear Keely.

[Frieda P]

Tugs at the heart strings this one...I think we've all been at this impasse at one time or another. Bargaining with love, who takes the greater risk, the greater blame..love is so freaking complicated and exasperating. You've written it beautifully, intensely pen'd, nice job Keely.

[zainul]

Excellent write
Enjoyed reading

[VennelaMargame]

I'll reiterate what I said in my previous review, that I think you would make a good song writer. Much of your writing I can imagine having a musical backing, and a melody seems to form out of the words and rhythms.

[kublakhan27]

A candid assessment of love's ups and downs...maybe this is my cynicism talking but every relationship, even the closest and dearest ones, has an element of confrontation to it...we're always striving for our own space no matter how much in love we are...whatever the case, this is a fine poem :)

[Joe]

Yeah You Grabbed The Essence Of It All In These Lines:

"I love you now like I loved you then
only this time I'm loving me more" / Love It How You Sum It Up!

Lovely Chain Of Toughts Penned!
Cool Write Keely :)
Enjoyed!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Keely this is a poem with depth and pathos. it flows with great meter and has such emotion.

[Maya]

i love this poem(: it perfectly describes that stupid place of being stuck yet gone at the same time and torn between the past and future

[Pete Langley]

This is what I like to call natural verse, in that for the main part, you avoid the `contrived`trap well in the rhyme.. I suggest - only suggest - you look at where you`ve employed capitals beginning lines - one or two might be superfluous, and add to the natural quality. All in all, a good piece. I hope this is helpful. P.