Dark and Empty

Even when I appear happy

                    when there is a smile on my face

There is a sadness below the surface

                    a dark and empty space

The echos of my memory

                    bounce you off the walls

Triggering my addiction

                    sending my emotions through withdrawals

I have come a long way

                    yet I am still in the same place

A thousand miles to nowhere

                     at a slow and steady pace

Dark and empty on the inside

                    over you on the out

Dark and empty and full of s**t

                     still in love without a doubt

Reviews

[Ravyne Hawke]

Break-ups are tragic. There is always a little piece of you that still loves the one you've broken up with, even if the reason behind it is valid. I can so relate to this and I think that's what makes this piece great. Your rhyme and meter works well except for the line "over you on the out" for some reason that line caused me to trip over it. I think it is the wording. A very successful poem!

[Simon Welsh]

Those last two lines say it all. I love this.

[Angi]

It's just the facts. Even after we have said, 'That's it!' The heart wants what it wants. Nicely done, Keely. Angi~

[Mary Christabel George]

Your style of writing has always impressed me.
Perfect rhyming.
My favorite lines are -
"I have come a long way

yet I am still in the same place"

[Elle Thompson]

I have only one major criticism, I feel like a period at the end would really make an impact, especially in such a short piece.

[Pete Langley]

This piece is honest and fluid and not morbidly introspective, but acknowledges the long road of adjustment after love. I think you have a good poem here, Keely. P.

[Veronica Chandler]

Extraordinarily powerful and honest piece which delights all of my senses. You have such a crisp way of writing which I admire deeply. For what it is worth, you pull this reader in with your word play.

[B-poet]

Very deep and poeticly articulate at the same time. Great write. Conveying the inner most conviction within your soul brought to life within this text. Nice. :)

[John F Carver]

Exactly. Well said. I particularly like bouncing memories off the walls... for hours at a time sometimes. Thanks for helping me understand that.

[Jonathan Biswell]

i like