Saved By Sins

Waiting for an absolution

         A remission of my sin

Release me from punishment

        For there is something more within

By no way do I claim

        Nor will I ever, to be a saint

Far from flawless

        Perfect I ain't

All of my mistakes

        My entire aberration

Part of the process

        A live and learn collaboration

Knowledge isn't just  power

        Its strength, to say the least

Ignorance isn't bliss

        Its the belly of the beast

The beast being damnation

       That feeds on the naive

My sins have saved me

       I believe

Reviews

[Astro]

I like it a lot KJ very good rhyme and structure. If I have one suggestion the last line is a bit short. Perhaps, "This I do believe." or...not. As it stands it is very well written and clear as to meaning and gives the reader something to think about, like where we stand. In the belly or out of harm.

[Leigh]

A fine piece of writing indeed, describing your journey of purification that revitalised you and brought you back stronger.

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

Great write as always :) love it Keely!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

"My sins have saved me/I believe"--powerful last lines. I see a lot in this piece. There is a strength to the structure and some of the imagery is beautiful. In places I think that you could have gone farther with the imagery and the delving into the depth of the emotion, but as I said, you rounded it out beautifully.

[Veronica Chandler]

I said the following words once already today; it seems they are a sort mantra for me lately.
"It seems that the worst possible things in my life have turned out to be the most productive of good."
By that line of reasoning, the following line, "My sins have saved me..." resonates inside. For my own mistakes are a big part of the fabric of my being, and without them I wouldn't have become the person I am now...Awake, aware, and alive.

[Phoenix]

a very moving piece

[quinfinn]

ignorance is indeed the belly of the beast.....i wish only to slay that beast these days. clever and engaging write.

[Nicky Sarti]

Loved the last line... very me too!
I loved this also Keely, a very moving piece.
You are totally on my "fave list" ~ great writing, thanks for sharing x

[MoriartyMesa]

Call me nuts (anyone?) but this has a techno vibe or Rave music as it may be put. It could be said over a loud speaker with something with a heavy beat, than repeated in three parts. Just my thinkin any .

[Forest Green]

Thought provoking, a truly challenging theme. ...belly of the beast...

Very nice..

[VennelaMargame]

There's some nice mixing of colloquial and elevated language here which gives it an interesting tone. The general tetrameter rhythm, combined the with shortened lines 5, 7,8,9 and the ending give it sort of a ballad feel, and the ending also manages to emphasize the double meaning of "I believe," so very nicely done there.

Just be careful of phrases like "knowledge isn't just power" or "belly of the beast," as they are prone to come off a cliche. As I'll emphasize a thousand times, always try to write as freshly as possible!

Best wishes.