Emotional Rain

My tears fall onto this paper as I write the things I cannot say

In hopes to ease the pain that my tears can't seem to wash away

Line by line, tear by tear, as each one comes about

From the same place on the inside, they end in the same place on the out

My blood flows through my veins like circulating pain

My thoughts pour from my mind like emotional rain

I  take a deep breath, close my eyes start to count

Until the number and my tear drops reach the same amount

I've counted to a hundred and I must count more still

If my sorrows don't drown me this rain surely will

Reviews

[quinfinn]

sounds to me like you need a good umbrella to keep your pages dry as you pour that bleeding heart out. this is so many of my writes, i can't count ...and you speak of counting before you run out of tears or vice versa...this is a terrible emotional storm, the rain will end long enough for you to catch your breath...then you can cry some more. beautiful, Keely....beautiful.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A highly charged and raw piece, well done, good read.

[Baby Ricochet]

It's raining outside right now. I don't know how I feel about that

[h d e rushin]

the iambus was truncated, but the voice was so sincere with coloquy
and conversational dialogue. I love your poetry. It is always filled with
such a rich colortemperature.

sad is what is popular now. tears and rain, both having axis, lying end to end
in a straight line couldn't be differentiated.

thanks for sharing this with us.
dana

[Renée]

A down pour onto paper... nicely done

[Elvis Gilley]

good job

[kublakhan27]

I love the first line, it sums up the life of a writer perfectly...I like the counting idea too...a truly emotional piece, well done.

[Jack...]

Very sad, open and honest. I think crying is the rain that eventually grows our future smiles.

[A. H. Pinley]

Tears are good. A way to relieve pain. It's in these times we can write some really great stuff. Great piece!

[Coyote Poetry]

Tears can feel like rain. I like the strong description and the use of numbers to make your point. A very good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[KurKota]

I have read this and McFaden's suggested rewrite below, and even tho he makes some vaild suggestions, I like your writing. I think it reflects more the feeling and emotion of what you are expressing. His rewrite my have more technical correctness, but I like the raw feeling of yours. The main point, is .....I really sense yours a bit more as genuine.