Made Jaded

When all you have is what you give

what happens when it's gone

And no ones there to give in return

what you’d expected all along

When everything you’ve known

becomes merely what you’ve thought

Everything that was once so real

suddenly is not

When everything turns to nothing

and all you’ve lived for dies

And all that you’ve ever believed in

turns out to be just lies

Its heartbreak like no other

 it's the slaughter of a spirit

The making of a jaded heart 

by love and why we fear it

Reviews

[Astro]

Well put, but I think that leading by example is still the more honorable way to live. It's not easy to be altruistic, but we can aspire to make a difference in the lives of others even if our only reward was the time we spent with them while they were a part of our lives. It is better to love and expect nothing than to expect love for giving something for anything given then has a price. There is no price for LOVE.

[redflutterby]

As someone who has always given 100% to the people i love this really hits home. We rarely get back as much as we give in this world and the heartache of that can be overwhelming. This poem is perfect in every way!! :-)

[quinfinn]

what have you been up to, peeking into my private journals? keely, you astound me sometimes with your writes. this is so personal and real. awesome.....

[Frieda P]

I feel this one in my bones....it echoes in my head. Lovely read, sad subject.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A very sad and cynical piece told in the narrative of a survivor.

[kublakhan27]

You have the voice of a long-lost philosopher...well done

[A. H. Pinley]

Where will we find strength to go on for another day? Life is filled with heartbreak and shortcomings, but the sun will come out tomorrow. Give without expecting.

[VennelaMargame]

Hmm, there was a saying in ancient Rome, something along the lines of "hate is the fluid that love bleeds when it is cut." That's what I'm reminded of here.

I like this poem quite a bit. It has a nice theme, that is quite universally relevant. It also has a nice sound to it, rather like a classic ballad in its rhythms and rhyme scheme.

"All that you've ever believed in turns out to be just lies" is a bit cliche sounding, though. It's a fairly common way of expressing this sentiment, I mean, and thus is not as powerful as it could be.

So those are my thoughts and suggestions. Keep up the good work.

[Radacach]

Oh so good love the emotion in this poem!!

[cooper]

sounds like an ode to my mother-in -law, brilliant, really:}

[The Rhino]

Ohhhhhhhhh! So nice and horrible at the same time!
That one hits where it counts.
I like how it read and how it sounded out loud (one of my tests) The only place it stuttered was the second line but only a very, very little.
You did a great job with this.