Owning Up

Don't apologise to me, for the pain your are creating.
Don't sob down the phone, as it's you I'll end up hating.
Don't make excuses for your actions, if forgiveness is what you seek.
Don't pity my predicament - it isn't me who's weak!

You cannot expect my happiness, as you tell me of your choice.
Or wait for my acceptance because there's sadness in your voice.
Don't mock my sensitivity or expect me to comply
When your honesty was just a joke, and all you did was lie.

"There's no way back, I hate her now!" Was what you said to me.
"This woman is a stranger, whom I distrust implicitly."
You talked of how she made you sick, and how you hated her being around
And how she'd ripped your heart out and thrown it to the ground.

You said that I was all you'd need, and all that you had sought.
That mine was a love worth fighting for; freely given, never bought.
You said I gave you freedom, and tore you from your hell
And that I motivated you, when you were just an empty shell.

You spoke of dreams and passions, the two of us could share,
Then left me in this hellish place; afraid, with no one there.
You want me to stand by you, your friend through thick and thin,
But what do I get from this, why should I lose whilst you two win?

I cannot fault your timing, confessing all on Christmas Eve,
You must have thought long and hard of how best you should deceive.
You kept me in the dark this week, too cowardly to confess your sin
Now the two of you are one again and you wear that self-satisfied grin.

You could not wait to tell me, that my dreams were shattered here,
That the hopes I'd harboured for our reunion, would be replaced by tears.
But does she know you shared my bed, when you visited last week?
That you wanted me to keep it quiet, not a word of it to leak?

Does she know you said you loved me, and that you always would?
Does she understand the bond we have?  Perhaps she never could.
So when you lay beside her, remember the sound of my voice
Telling you I love you, and offering you a final choice.

If you ever face reality, and come to know it's not you she needs.
If you admit to your stupidity, and selfishness and greed.
Then I will be here waiting, your apology I'll gladly hear.
And love you for eternity, and you'll have nothing more to fear.


Copyright © Victoria Preston, 2009
All Rights Reserved