Immeasurable Anger

You look me deep in the eye as your lips start to move now.
The words slowly vanish as I witness this fall from grace.
This man, who prides himself on his honesty in all things,
Is lying ... bare faced lying ... straight to my face.

You knew about this for weeks, if not months, and yet
You chose to keep me in the dark, my sensitivity you'd ignore;
Just in case she changed her scheming mind about you,
And left you alone, as she did once before.

I relish this silence now, this much visited vacuum,
That draws me in, once again, with such ferocious sorrow and pain.
I've been here so often it's a tangible room to me,
Where everyone leaves and I'm by myself once again.

So forgive me for snarling, and snapping at you,
When you need my support and I keep friendship at bay.
This immeasurable anger that rages inside of me
Is my crutch now, helping me get through each monotonous day.

You smile as you tell me how happy you are now,
And hesitate in your glee, to await my reply.
Well, excuse me for not bowing to this news that you bring me,
My mind is still reeling from how well you can lie.

So, let's just get this over with, shall we, my dear friend?
But do me the courtesy of telling it straight.
Stop insulting my intelligence with these feeble excuses;
My love for you is quickly turning to hate.

If you want her - go get her.  I'm no competition.
I'd not waste my time to win your heart back for me.
Just remember, if all fails, and the past goes full circle,
When you seek solace, it's not in my arms that you'll be.

You are kidding yourself if you think I'll be waiting.
Patiently standing in the shadows, so black.
My life has moved on now, and you are no longer welcome
To beg my attention or to try to go back.

So, be happy, my dear, with the choice that you've made,
Let your trust return blindly so you can love her, once more.
And when she strays, as she will do, find another to help you
As there is no longer, for you, a path to my door.



Copyright © Victoria Preston, 2010
All Rights Reserved