The Sun Will Rise

Staring my dad in the eyes as I sit on the old black footstool, I feel the familiar burning sensation building.  Gripping my stomach to hold myself together, I fight with all my strength to keep it in.  He can see the pain etched upon my face and motions for me to come to him, wanting to hold me as I fall apart.  My heart lurches and more tears fall.  I cannot speak.  I cannot move.  I know once his arms are around me, the pain will break through all the walls I have unconsciously built to protect my broken heart.  I cannot let him or anyone see how broken I am.  Holding up my hand I manage to choke out, “I can’t.”  I look down at the ground and try to calm myself, but the memories manage to break through.  Someone says his name and my mask breaks, revealing my most secret emotions.  My breath comes in short gasps, the tears will not stop, my shoulders slump inward and my body succumbs.  I’ve forgotten how powerful this pain can be, how much I truly am suffering on the inside.  Before I can stop myself, I am crying out, saying what I should not say, pouring salt in my already pulsing wounds.  My thoughts continue to race and my heart, oh it aches, but out of nowhere I feel a hand in mine.  I look up to find my dad beside me, holding on tight.  His face is so sad.  He’s been here as well, to this dark place…he understands.  Stroking my hair and holding my hand, he tells me silently to stay strong and one day, I will understand.  One day, all of this pain will be a distant memory.  I continue to cry, for I do not have the strength to stop, but hope slowly rises, dulling the ache.  Eventually, the tears will slow, the pain will subside, and the sun will rise.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

So sad and beautiful. I could feel the emotion and sadness in your words. I have three daughters. I want them to be happy always. Thank you for sharing the poem.
Coyote