Giving Up

I'm giving up on you.
I’ve waited with baited breath,
Praying your mind would change,
Hoping for your heart to feel…me.
Pushed to the zenith of my threshold of pain,
I convinced my weeping heart it would be worth it,
In the end.
You will never begin to fathom my love for you.
You will never realize how broken I am…
Without you.
I deserve better…I’ve heard so often.
What is better than you?
Someone tell me, please.
I don’t understand.
I want you, oh God, do I want you.
But I cannot have you.
You cannot love what you do not want…
And I am not what you want.
It sears my heart, cutting so deep.
I cannot hold onto this illusion of you anymore.
I cannot…will not try to make you love me.
If you don’t know by now, you’ll never know.
You’ll never know.
Just be happy, please, for me…
I just want you to be happy…
No matter what it means for me.


Bridgett Lyall
12/17/08