Afternoon

Not a story...

    The locality was painted in a golden hue by the rays of the setting sun. The silence of the afternoon seemed to reverberate off the walls of the houses only to be disrupted occasionally by the chirping of birds returning to their nests. The silence brings to the mind thoughts of people taking a siesta. The warm chrome yellow light with a tinge of orange ricocheted off every object present-the cars, the walls, the cobbled streets. The rear view mirror and the glass windows reflected the sun rays, almost blinding the eyes.
    A chill had begun to set in, slowly pushing away the warmth of the sun. The sun had now acquired a reddish tinge and darkness had started to creep in from the edges. One by one the houses donned a dark mask. Soon it would be dark and the houses would look like Halloween pumpkins-dark on the outside but lit from the inside. It won't be long before the stars start shining and the moon furnishes a soft light and remains an alibi to countless incidents...

Author's Note

Thank you for reading... :)

Reviews

[ANTO]

I loved the silence reverberating - very nicely done.
Perhaps tell us what kind of birds?
Loved 'warm chrome yellow"
Well said on the chill pushing the suns warmth away.

I think 'twinkling' stars is overdone - maybe something more original ?

Overall I think this is exquisite - exquisite eyes.

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you :)

[barleygirl]

Very visual description of a sunset . . . also original, the way you're showing changes in light over a town street . . . (instead of a more common ocean sunset scene or something like it). Here's my one recommendation . . . rather than using common colors of yellow, orange, & red, why not try the many more expressive ways to describe colors: tangerine, peach, crimson, buttery cream, that sort of thing. Your pumpkin analogy is easy to imagine & very imaginative.

[Shielah Yuyama]

You described the setting creatively. I could feel and picture out every line in this piece. :)

[nupur chauhan]

grt description of natures beauty .... awesomely explanation of its delicacy ... i really liked it

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thanks :)

[nupur chauhan]

urs most welcome

[Pathtaken]

The only thing that seems a little off, and it may be your intent to do so, is the flow from afternoon to dusk. Instead of saying "A chill had begun to set in", you could use present tense, " A chill begins to set in". You would have to change the tense of the other words as well. You certainly do "paint" a beautiful picture. Thank you for sharing.

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you for pointing it out.
And I am glad you liked reading it.

[Solar]

The contrasts between the light and its glowing warm colours and the chill in the falling darkness makes this a magical read - especially the Haloween quality you give to the houses!

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you. I am glad that you enjoyed reading it

[Zyle Christian William ..]

I loved your use of the word alibi! I enjoyed this description, I used to have a description journal where I would attempt this same thing! I love that you've done that here! Nice job!

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you :)
I have not really explored the topic of describing things/scenes. I will try to do more.

[Zyle Christian William Cook]

Happy writing! From the looks f this you are off to a great start!

[annalysiar]

Great imagery I love the detail. Great write

[ExquisiteEyes]

Than you so much :)

[annalysiar]

You're so welcome I'm sorry it took so long to get to it

[ExquisiteEyes]

No, its okay. Even I've got so many requests pending

[annalysiar]

Thank you...

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of description. I liked the story in the words.
Coyote

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Obscured by the Shadows]

This was very beautiful. The images you painted were wonderful. The picture was helpful to those without a good imagination, but I found it distracting, it took away from my own image. Other than that small thing, this was a very nice piece of writing, thank you for sharing.

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you so much. I thought the image would make the page a bit lively.

[Obscured by the Shadows]

It does! It is a good picture, I love it. My brain just works differently, merely an opinion!

[alifeacoustic]

Picture perfect words. The whole feel of this piece has all those warm colours of the photograph and they come to life in the mind as your words are read. This could be the start of a series of varying images of the colours of day and night.
Nicely captured.

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you. Its a good idea to write a series. I will try to do it.