Last Words

Some people leave sooner than anticipated....

Days pass away
Time is short
The disease rapidly consumes me
I won't live for long
And I wonder-
Will you miss me?
Will my thoughts ever cross your mind?
Will you be happy?
Or will memories cause despair?

All I have to say is-
I want you to move on
To go with the flow
Keep smiling, be happy
If not for others, at least for me
But a small part of my heart says
I want you to remember me.

Author's Note

Someone I knew, passed away yesterday...so I wrote this on her behalf.

Reviews

[SariahM]

I love how the poem kind of floats. It also connects to very deep pondering about the meaning of life for me. It is very emotional, just they way people like it! :D!

And I wonder-
Will you miss me?
Will my thoughts ever cross your mind?
Will you be happy?
Or will memories cause despair?

These questions also help the flow of the poem! You did a great job... Well done!

Constructive criticism: If you use a little repitition the poem would have a cleaner ring to it. I also suggest at least one more stansa!

Thanks for the great red,

---Sariah---

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you for the review. I will keep your words in mind. :)

[SariahM]

your welcome, and thanks.

[alifeacoustic]

To be remembered by those you remember is all we can hope for. That being a part of their life is as special to them as it is to us.
Beautifully captured hopes and dreams of a life.

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you for the review

[TheBubbleManiac]

And I wonder-
Will you miss me?
Will my thoughts ever cross your mind?
Will you be happy?
Or will memories cause despair?

This truly is a great thing to put in the poem. It keeps you wanting to read, and it even makes you ask these questions yourself. this really expresses so much that people question when they become very emotional/

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you so much :)

[Zaid]

Why such attachment?! That was the first question that passed through my mind.
A good free verse poem. All the support.
I'd like if you checked my poems, and I welcome your reviewa

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you. I will surely read your poems.

[Bonaventure Onuabuchi]

Amazing write- a good one for its purpose. And to the departed soul, I would say R.I.P... You've written well dear. .... Bona!

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you.

[A hare off]

Life is so short, the friends we make are to be cherished. Beautiful but heart hurting poem.

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the questions in the poetry.
"Will you miss me?
Will my thoughts ever cross your mind?
Will you be happy?
Or will memories cause despair? "
I asked the above questions often. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you. I feel these questions come to our mind when we feel low.

[Coyote Poetry]

They do and you are welcome.

[AYVID N]

ExquisiteEyes, the poem is amazing in its depth. Simple and beautiful. A much appreciated read.

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and she would want others to move forward with her smile filling their thoughts....

nicely done --third line i read "the disease" ----

but yes, memories should be happy ones...

[ExquisiteEyes]

Sorry about that. Just a typing error.

[Inject Positivity]

Im really sorry for your lose frnd....This is the best tribute you can give that person....Full of heartfelt feelings....God bless you....

[ExquisiteEyes]

Yeah. I wasn't close to her but she was just 2-3 years older than me. And that really shocked me.