What Happened?

What Happened?

A Poem by ExquisiteEyes

Do you remember those late night talks?
And all the promises that we made,
Some silly and some grave
What happened to them?

You promised to keep in touch
Yet as days pass, it grows worse
Once you had unveiled a world of happiness,
And now you are taking it all away.

Without you my world is dark
Don't you understand that?
Perhaps you have understood it a little too well
And chose to play with it.

May be I'm wrong or may be I'm right
Who knows until you say which one's right
Each day that passes without your touch
Are the ones that cause me tremendous pain.

Today, I wait for the answer
That would either bind my heart closer
Or set me free forever...

© 2015 ExquisiteEyes


Author's Note

ExquisiteEyes
Please tell me what you think of it...I am open to all suggestions.

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Featured Review

Loved the sad song of lost love.
This reminded me of a classic Hindi song - "Kya hua tera vada.. Woh kasam woh irada..." (What happened to your promise? The pledge and the intention?)

Sometimes letting go and moving on takes a lot out of you. But it's part of life.
Very emotive! Loved the way you innocently posed questions and delivered the struggle and pain held within.
Kudos!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Thanks...that song is indeed very touching
Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Yeah. You are welcome.



Reviews

Very heart telling piece written here. Some people move on and some people dont. Try the opposite and maybe the other will do the same and perhaps both will meet middle ground.

Posted 8 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Thank you :) You are right...people need to come together and sort out things.
Only one suggestion, about the wording, in the line " I maybe wrong or I maybe right"

You could try rewriting it: "Maybe I'm wrong, or maybe I'm right"

or another option, easier one... Just throw in a space between the words "may" and "be" that would help. At least, that is my opinion. Other than that, I love it, and can relate to the hell of waiting for someone to make that choice. Not important what they choose, but it's time to choose, and move on, following that choice. Maximum rating. :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Your changes definitely sound better. Thank you.
Dani The Unreviewed

8 Years Ago

you're welcome.
This slowly began to digress and that's what kept me reading. I love how this person shows more of his or her opinion about the other partner, and how his or her love for him is taken away. I love how this person explains how he or she is hurting and that this partner of their needs to tell he or she the truth about their 'love' for one another. The last line really kept me wanted to keep on reading, yet there was nothing else to read. Loved it!

Posted 8 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I am glad you liked it so much. :)

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803 Views
13 Reviews
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Added on November 28, 2015
Last Updated on November 29, 2015

Author

ExquisiteEyes
ExquisiteEyes

West Bengal, India



About
Hi! I am a 16 year old girl. I love to write and share it with others.Its just been about a year and a half that I have started writing. It was my friend who told me that I write well and should try t.. more..

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