What Happened?

Do you remember those late night talks?
And all the promises that we made,
Some silly and some grave
What happened to them?

You promised to keep in touch
Yet as days pass, it grows worse
Once you had unveiled a world of happiness,
And now you are taking it all away.

Without you my world is dark
Don't you understand that?
Perhaps you have understood it a little too well
And chose to play with it.

May be I'm wrong or may be I'm right
Who knows until you say which one's right
Each day that passes without your touch
Are the ones that cause me tremendous pain.

Today, I wait for the answer
That would either bind my heart closer
Or set me free forever...

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think of it...I am open to all suggestions.

Reviews

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Loved the sad song of lost love.
This reminded me of a classic Hindi song - "Kya hua tera vada.. Woh kasam woh irada..." (What happened to your promise? The pledge and the intention?)

Sometimes letting go and moving on takes a lot out of you. But it's part of life.
Very emotive! Loved the way you innocently posed questions and delivered the struggle and pain held within.
Kudos!

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thanks...that song is indeed very touching

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Yeah. You are welcome.

[DirectTangent]

Very nicely done.
You've conveyed a sense of emotional turmoil between a feeling of rejection /abandonment, frustration (perhaps over being toyed with or not taken seriously), and perhaps exasperation over having to tolerate the turmoil to begin with because of a pledge someone is not keeping. These are some of the emotional elements that I pulled from your piece.
The flow is quite good. My only comment is to look at the word "it" in the second stanza - I seemed to want more specificity as to what you are referring to here... discouragement? anger? loneliness? Something else?
I like your work here. There is a tempered straightforwardness to your write.

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you for the review. You have extracted all the emotions from the poem.
And in the second stanza, 'it' refers to the sadness and emotional turmoil that is being faced by the narrator.

[McBear]

Yep. Some people just break promises like they are nothing. I cri

[Owen Aldin]

People are b******s, especially those you believe in the most....

[nupur chauhan]

nice described the core of a faded relation.... i appreciate ur poem .....
write more so dat i can find to read more thnkss

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thank you :)

[SariahM]

I love the way you separated the stanzas. The poems meaning is also very deep. Keep up the good work! :D

[ExquisiteEyes]

thank you

[SariahM]

XD

[jacob erin-cilberto]

there was an old Beach Boys song "girl don't tell me"

"girl don't tell me you'll write me again this time"

because she promised, and didn't keep it...and he hung on because of the promise...people need to be honest with each other...if you want out, let the other know...silence is not golden in this instance.

well expressed.

[ExquisiteEyes]

thank you. :)

[Jones Johnsey]

Great writing! I think people can really relate to it in their own way.

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thanks :)

[Inject Positivity]

I can relate to the feelings of this poem cause i've been there.....Heartfelt thanks dear frnd....Good work.....

[ExquisiteEyes]

Thanks. I am glad you like it

[Inject Positivity]

Can't forget your poem...I Read it again my frnd....Thank you for your work...One of my favourite....

[AaronFreitas]

I enjoyed your write :) I like the context and your thoughts. The only suggestion I have is the line "I maybe wrong or I maybe right" should be "I may be wrong or I may be right." Nice work my friend :)