Rain With a Side of Social Anxiety

A Chapter by Uihara

Now that Emilia's appearance is prim and proper, all that's left is her...

Rain With A Side of Social Anxiety

The closest bus stop was three blocks from Janis’s apartment. I stared at my cheap umbrella after shutting Janis’s front door. Alex had gotten it for me at a yard sale for two dollars about three years ago, but over the years it became notorious for being unreliably hard to open. This was in part due to the joints becoming warped because of the weak metal that the shaft was made up of. Each time that I struggled for more than three minutes to open it, I’d tell myself, “What do you expect from a two dollar umbrella?” I’d then promise myself that I’d buy a new one later down the line, but the occasion just never came up. I rarely went shopping after all.

I tried my umbrella. Thankfully today of all days it decided to be cooperative and open within the first two tries. I began making my way down the Knight Street. The rain was light, and the sun could be seen. The streets were moist but there weren’t any thick puddles that I had to worry myself about. I looked over at the horizon. The sun was setting. I thought to myself, “Vancouver is such a gloomy yet beautiful city. But it’s my city. I grew up here after all. It’s a shame that I don’t come out more often to experience days like this.”

I made it to the bus stop and sat down on the bench before checking my watch. 6:21pm it read. Our dinner reservation at the Japanese restaurant, Miku, wasn’t for almost another two hours at 8:15pm. We’d been planning this for months.

“Hello, excuse me?” I was startled. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice when a somewhat elderly man had decided to sit down next to me.

“O-oh hello s-sir. Sorry.” I was stuttering. The man seemed to be in his early fifties with a receding hairline and the beginnings of wrinkling features. His big nose reminded me of my grandfather’s. He seemed warm but now had a look of confusion on his face.

“Why are you apologizing?” He asked. “I was just wondering what a lovely and beautiful girl like you was doing out here all alone. Are you waiting for someone special to pick you up here?” He laughed heartily. It was at this point that I realized that I was garnering a lot of attention. Normally, I’d blend right in, but today… today I stuck out like a sore, thumb.

“No. I’m here waiting for the bus. Just like everyone.” I was nervously fidgeting with my umbrella. I could feel glances here and then from the people around me. I could feel my heart rate rising from each and every one. I prayed to god that I could just magically become invisible, and that no one here would see or look at me anymore. Like how it usually was. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to just disappear.

Suddenly bus 52 arrived. It let out its signature puff of air before rolling the doors open. Everyone at the bus stop except the elderly man and I boarded.

The conversation had stopped dead in the water. I could tell that he hadn’t intended to put me in such a distasteful position. I could feel his eyes glancing at me every now and then but I didn’t dare look back at him.

Not short after, bus 54 arrived and both him and I boarded. I swiped my bus pass on the coin counting machine next to the driver. I didn’t dare make eye contact with anyone. The bus driver scratched his head seemingly surprised that I had a bus pass at all.

“How many stops?” The bus driver turned to ask me out of curiosity.

“About 10 to 13.” I answered back reluctantly.

“Ah, so you’re heading off to Van Centre huh?” The elderly man from earlier chimed in. “That explains why you’re dressed so nicely.”

I didn’t answer him. Oddly the bus had plenty of seats left. Most people don’t venture out from their homes during rainy days it seems. I sat near the back in a feeble attempt to dodge the gazes of the other passengers. The elderly man was counting quarters out of the palm of his hand and inserting them into the machine. When he finished, he walked up to a vacant seat at the middle of the bus and sat down. He had given up trying to make conversation with me it seemed. I sighed as I knew I was being unreasonably cold, but it was his fault for getting me so agitated regardless of if it was intentional or not. I peered out the window into the sunset. The rain had picked up, but the clouds were a delicate shade of orange-red. This whole mess reminded me of when I first met Alex.

He was a complete dolt (and still is). My first impressions were that he was comparable to a court jester who was lacking in every aspect except gusto. He was the kind of stranger that I hated the most. The kind that wouldn’t leave me alone. I was in a foul mood that day too too which severely compromised both my patience and courtesy. My unreasonable and emotionally unstable dad, kicked me out of the house for talking back to him earlier that day. Usually when this happens, I’d have to wait until he fell asleep, and then get my mom to sneak me back into the house.

I’d been sitting alone at a table at McDonald’s for about two hours now playing with my phone when this boy with an idiotic amount of energy and equally idiotic smile tried to hit on me. I gave him the usual cold treatment that I gave to strangers but he wouldn’t let up. Finally he asked me about why I hadn’t ordered anything and why I was alone here. I remember telling to shut up and that I hadn’t purchased anything because I had no money before storming out of that McDonald’s. Usually I’m not one to make scenes like that, but I definitely wasn’t in the mood to think twice or feel guilty or embarrassed for my actions.

After I left, I had no clue where I’d go to kill time. My dad wouldn’t be asleep for another four hours or so. With a bit of thought, I finally decided to walk to Strathcona Park and sit at the picnic tables there until my dad would probably be asleep. It was about two kilometers from where the McDonald’s was but I made my way there in no time. Janis always complained about how she couldn’t keep up with my walking speed.

I sat down at the wooden picnic tables and pulled out my phone. Less than a minute later, I started to hear footsteps approaching. I looked up. It was Alex Lane. That moron had followed me all the way from McDonald’s. I tried to ignore him and establish my attention back on my phone but the battery had pretty much ran out by then. He sat down across from me at the table and didn’t say a word. His stupid smile was gone too.

“Why did you follow me?” I said in an annoyed tone. “Are you some kind of creepy stalker too?”

He didn’t answer back and kept playing with his phone. I became a little worried but it quickly subsided. Without my phone I had nothing to do. I began to study him a little closer. He was slightly taller than me, with short black hair. He had childish features but he was definitely around my age; probably older by about a year. His stupid face was round and boyish.

“Heh, so your phone ran out of batteries huh?” He said with prying eyes.

“What?! No!” Unable to hide my surprise, my voice cracked.

“Oh? So I was right?” He was definitely toying with me now which made my blood boil. The frustration began to set in and I wanted to punch him in his stupid face. He looked up from his phone.

“It’s ok Beautiful. I’ll stick around to keep you company.” It was dark and I was fighting back the urge to nail him square between the eyes. Finally I decided against it and got up from the table and began to walk off. It was probably around 10pm by then but I couldn’t tell exactly without my phone.

“It’s dangerous for pretty girls to wander around alone at night you know.” When I turned, he was right behind me.

“And what? Are you going to teach me a lesson?” I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth ready to punch him.

“Easy now. I was just going to suggest that I walk you home. How does that sound?” He was genuine this time. I could see it in his stupid eyes. I felt the agitation leave my body as I walked back towards picnic tables, defeated.

I sat down. I felt like an idiot for being so hard on him. “I can’t go home. My dad kicked me out.” I hunched over the picnic table.

“You should sit up straight. That’s bad for your back.” He was smiling again.

“Why do you care?” I groaned.

“Of course I’d care about my future wife’s back.” His stupid smile widen after his wisecrack.

I gave him a look of disgust and groaned even louder this time. “Could you cut the crap out and just act like a normal person?”

“Nope.” He answered back still smiling.

For the remaining four hours, he kept me company, but most of his talking made me feel like he was putting me on some sort of pedestal. During which, I told him everything I could to try and make him care less about me. All my… problems. It was the first time I had been so open about my life to anyone. How my family was too poor to own a car. How we struggled to make ends meet in general. I told him how my dad was emotionally unstable and verbally abusive towards my siblings and me. He listened and listened occasionally commenting with a sarcastic, “Oh poor baby girl,” or something equally irksome. I told him how I hated attention and people in general. I told him about how I wanted to become a singer. Eventually the remaining 4 hours had passed. At the end I took him up on his offer to walk me home. On the way I asked him if he still liked me after learning all the bad stuff about me.

He didn’t answer me which, at the time, I assumed meant a no, but when we reached my house, he turned to me and said. “Would tell me your name before I send you off? My beautiful future wife.” He grabbed my hand. Usually I’d never let anyone touch me. Even the thought of physical contact made me very uncomfortable, but something about Alex was different. It was probably his stupidly exaggerated but clichéd humor or it was his ridiculously tenacious persistence, but I couldn’t tell for sure.

“Emilia Pamela Chan.” I told him before heading off. I remember seeing him wave at me before I snuck back into my house.

For the next month and a half he’d show up at my window every weekday at around 4pm begging me for my phone number and email address. He was relentless and I was sure that he would have given up before I would have. He didn’t.

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