Obnoxious Preparations

We are introduced to Emilia getting ready for her birthday date with her boyfriend. Her best friend who works as a salonist is here to 'help'...

Obnoxious Preparations

“Today’s THE BIG DAY!”  Janis pranced to and fro her WC and me.  Each time, she returned with a different gadget that she used torefine me.  Every last one being equally indispensable to making me,immaculate.  Of course they were all beyond me.  It was clearly her expertise and not mine.

I appreciated her help - I really did - but when she offered tospiffer me up, I didn’t expect for her to operate on me for a cumbersome three whole hours. I spent the entire time in a seat facing her bedroom wall.

“Mhm...”  I answered back turning the page of the magazine I was reading. I couldn’t tell if she was intentionally making this undertaking more mundane than it had to be, but I couldn’t really complain.  She was doing all the work after all.

“He’s totally going to drop the question,” she beamed.  “Aren’t you excited, EMILIA?!”  The guttural way she uttered my name sent chills down my spine.  Peeking over my shoulder, I watched as Janis bounced off the walls.

We’ve been friends since forever; ever since I became a part of my local choir several years ago.  It was there that I met the timid andquiet Janis.  She almost resembled a mouse that would scuttle away at the first sign of danger; she, of course, sang like one too.  Oh how times have changed.  You never would have guessed that once upon a time, Janis was a precious little thing.

At this point, I was hoping that the ordeal would be over soon.  Then, Janis looked at me from over her shoulder.  With eyes and grin as wide as Dr. Frankenstein’s when he completed his monster, she held up another one of her toys.

“I mean like… sure I’m excited for the dinner, but you’re acting as if I’m going to be crowned The Queen of Canada tonight.”  I sat still as she tugged on my hair with the new device.  With each pull, I could feel my discomfort rising.

Once she was done with that, she began vigorously applying a skin-colored cream of some sort to my nose and cheeks with a sponge.

“Emilia! You don’t know how happy I am for you!”  She said as she grabbed a soft brush to varnish the rest of my disgruntled face.  Of course I knew how happy she was.  She was even more excited about tonight than I was.

“We don’t even know for sure if tonight’s gonna be the night.  For all we know he could wait another year or two.”  I kept my eyes shut so that Janis couldn’t scatter any of her pixy dust into them.

“Don’t be like that. Have some faith in Alex.” Almost like magic, Janis’s maniacal smile disappeared.  “He’s a way better man than Wilson will ever be.”  She put down her brush.  I could see the poutiness in her face without having to turn to look.  She was about to go on another one of her eccentric rants about her boyfriend of three years, but I stopped her before she could start.

“Still having trouble getting Lil O’ Willy to tie that knot, huh?”  Now was my chance to poke fun at her.  “Shoulda listened to me when I told you that he wasn’t the type to lie down and be tied down.”  My smirk amplified the irksome tone that I was taking with her.

I could see that she’d become flustered by it.  “Screw you.  He’s just a shy turtle.  That’s all.”  She headed to her WC to grab something else.

“Then?”  I asked raising my voice so that she could hear me.

“He could propose to me anytime now!  And I’d say yes in a heartbeat!  If only he would grow a pair and just do it!”  Her yelling was deafening.  I swear that Wilson probably could have heard her from his home on the other side of town.

“Couldn’t you just make it easier on him by proposing to himinstead?”  I finished reading the magazine and laid it flat on my lap waiting for her to hand me another.

“He wouldn’t like that.  It’d make me seem overeager.  Plus, I’m sure he’s planned something a million times better than anyone else has come up with.”  She was coming back with what looked like eyeliner and lipstick.

“Didn’t you just say that Alex was a better man than Wilson would ever be?  Wouldn’t that include the way that he plans to propose?”  I slyly turned to looked back at her, anticipating her reaction.  She lowered the small bottles that she was holding.

“Hey.”  She looked at me, clearly irritated.

“Hey.”  I answered back provocatively.  I made sure she could see my grin by tilting my head towards her ever so slightly.

“Hush, you.”  She snatched the magazine from my lap and playfully swatted the back of my head with it.  We both began laughing.

Our banter continued for another fifteen minutes or so, until she finally set me free from the confines of her ‘beauty chair.’  She held up a mirror allowing me the privilege of finally seeing the product of her labours.  I wasn’t expecting a considerable difference, but the moment that I saw myself, I gawked at what couldn’t have possibly been me.  The woman in the mirror’s hair glistened in the dim lighting as if it were comprised of thousands of slim cords of shimmering bronze.  Her eyes seemed larger, more defined.  Her skin glowed and was devoid of flaws.  I reached for my face in disbelief.

“Holy s**t.”  I turned to her in astonishment.

“This is why you shouldn’t doubt me.”  Jan sneered. “Maybe next time, you’ll have a little more faith.”  She was clearly proud of her work.

“So...  how much do I owe you for this and this?”  I tugged on her elegant black dress that she was letting me borrow.

“Oh nothing…  Just the rights to being your best friend, for the rest of eternity.”  Her eyes glinted with a bit of her typical nuttiness.

“Why would you want that?”  I laughed.  “I’m horrible.”

“Emilia.  Don’t be like that.  What would Alex think if he heard you say that?”  I could see the poutiness build behind her mouse face again.

I brushed her off.  “Fine fine.  We both know that he could do better than me anyways.”

Janis froze.  “You don’t actually believe that do you?”  As I turned to look at her, I realized that our lighthearted banter was over.  Her eyes, stern with concern, did the speaking for her: “Do you realize how important you are to all of us?”

“Okay, sorry.  You know me.”  I don’t handle confrontation well, I never could. “I’m just being me, so quit it with the glaring.”  I couldn’t look her in the eyes while saying all that.

“What did I tell you about saying self-degrading crap like that?  It’s no wonder you have no backbone.”  She was definitely mad at me now.

“I’m sorry Jan.”  The feeling was reminiscent of me getting scolded by my mother.  She definitely cared about me, but just didn’t seem to understand me.

“Quit it with the apologies and just go.  You’re going to be late to being early for your birthday dinner with Alex.”  With that she shooed me away.  I kind of regret leaving the mood like that, but I was a little glad to be finally out of there.  She handed me my jacket, and I grabbed my umbrella and purse on the way out.

Author's Note

WC is a abbreviation for the term 'water closet' which is what restrooms are typically called in Canada.
Fixing format of previous work to make it easier for readers to review.