Raw

War is raw

In every sense

of the word

Virgin Metal

Elements mined and mixed

Cast for the sole intention

Of piercing another soul

Ripped from the Earth 

Only to return there

At 681 miles an hour

Shells discarded

In a deafening flash.

Their contents projected

In literal expressions of both

Fight and Flight 

Brass and Lead

Left countless dead

But beyond bullets, blood

Or whose soil it seeps into

Entire cultures undermined

Often eradicated

Absolutely intentionally

For private purposes

And pockets filled of

People you'll never know

For reasons they'll never tell you

Reviews

[Siren]

Death and I are on curious terms. You could almost say we have an affair of sorts. Nothing serious--just flirting every now and then. I really like this piece. It puts things into perspective. There are plenty of glasses to look through, when it comes to war and death. I think maybe if we saw it with our own eyes, we would understand it a little better. But, no one ever comes back to warn us, do they? Thank you, for this incredibly great write.

[Zahra]

Very nice, intriguing piece, well penned

[KAOlmsted]

Skillfully done, you've made your point well. Thank you for sharing this with us, Derek...

-kimmer

[Luke Rawlings]

Another very good one. Teach me man, this is amazing writing. You have gained a subscriber :P

[Gianna Dale]

Many layers to this. Deep in its meaning, very political and saddening. Well done.
-Gianna

[Inda]

This is a fantastic portrait of war and the politics behind it; love it!

[Angel]

This is very, very, very, very good. You have cut to the soul of me with this.
The lust for power, the greed for material gain...people you'll never know feed our hate for reasons they'll never tell you...and, mindless, heartless, souless...we march into battle against the "enemy"...oh, how brave, how very patriotic!!!
How pathetic!!!!!
Thank you for sharing this, Damien...I am deeply impressed.

[Derek ubuntu Dunham]

My name is Derek, not Damien but I truly appreciate the input! I am really glad you enjoyed it.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Heavy and powerful. I like the ideas of something taken from the earth by man being forged into a weapon that will send another man "back into the earth". It's the circle of life, or rather the circle of humanity; terrible or not, we are a conquering species and I don't ever think there will be a time when the entire world will be completely at peace. This is well written...a dream in beautiful form.

[Andrew N. Farrens]

not only is war raw, the words you chose for this poem make up a great effect of total rawness. This is a great poem. No s**t. Indeed. SELAH.
ANF

100/100

[Astro]

Nice social comment, your poem has a good blend of imagery and expression. I personally, would have stuck in a few lines describing the more graphic human physical impact. The visceral, blood splattering nature of war, would serve as a humanizing point, or a mortal fragility counterpoint to hammer home the overall, disgust with the people and reasons behind war and the lies we're being fed to accept and support it. (That's just me.) As it stands, it is still very well done and clear, bringing the reader to a place of unbelievable hardship and corruption.