Greek Squad

[WP] Due to a clerical error, an IT guy finds himself solving the computer issues of mythological gods in his new job at the "Greek Squad".

"Greek Squad, how can I help you?"

"I can't get to Tinder."

"Aphrodite?"

"Who else? I can't get to Tinder."

"Could've been your son... Do you see the top bar of your screen? Is there a wifi signal?"

"What's a wifi signal?"

"The thing that lets you connect to the internet. Should look like a radio tower signal?"

"What's--"

"Never mind." Deep breath. "What do you see on the screen?"

"'Cannot load page, not connected to the internet.'"

"Can you go to your settings?"

"Where's that?"

"It should be on your home screen--looks like a gear."

"What's--"

"You know, why don't you just come on down to the office? I'll fix it when you get here."

"Ohhhkayyyyy."

click

"Greek Squad, how can I help you?"

"Hey Charles, Hermes here. Zeus knocked everything out. Tantrum."

"Hey Hermes, what's the damage?"

"Looks like the email server, the routers and repeaters... literally everything connected to electricity."

"Spurned in love, huh?"

"Yup. How soon can we get it all up and running?"

"Depends on the extent of the damage. If we have to replace it all again it could take a week; if I just have to fix a few couple things, maybe a few days."

"Aphrodite will not like that."

"Already complaining about Tinder?"

"How did you guess?"

"Just a hunch. I'll be there soon. Sit tight."

"See you in a few."

click

"Greek Squad, how can I help you?"

"Is there any way to get faster internet in the Underworld?"

"Hey Persephone, as of right now, there's not much we can do. I can get into talks with the ISP again, but the techs you guys have down there had enough trouble switching from dialup. You may have to wait a dozen or so years before you get enough ISP techs down there."

"There's nothing we can do? I tried uploading a video of Cerberus and it took nearly an hour."

"I'll do my best. Tell your mom I say hi, and I'll update you on what we can do."

"Have a good evening Charles."

"You too."

click

"Greek Squad--"

"How many techs would it take to get Persephone faster internet?"

"Hey Hades. Maybe like ten or so, it'd all depend--"

"Consider it done."

"Hades, you can't just--"

click