#6 Garment Fabrication - Part Seven

They're talking about fashion, but the outsider has his own ideas.

Bare ideas

There is now a new scene where the boss is in his office sat behind his desk looking happy with himself. He’s gazing into Sickedy Swick’s face. Sickedy Swick is sat behind the desk, and looking at the scene shows that the boss is the boss, but however he doesn’t look as rich swaggered up as him.

“So are you enjoying your tea?” asked the boss.

“Yes. I ain’t drank tea for time” he replied.

“So how are you feeling about the factory? Do you like what you see?”

“It’s kinda good, still.”

“Is there anything you don’t like?”

“Well some gal dropped on da floor an she wiped her hands on her clothes. Da floor needs cleanin.”

“Anything else?”

“You need to stop those sewing machines from making noise. That s**t ain’t attractive.”

The boss took one look at him and said “Okay.”

 

“Now”, said the rapper, “I’m getting bare ideas for my label. I’m thinkin of havin clothes that make my breddas on it and get me photographed, but here’s the thing " only I’ll be wearing it.” The boss took some moments to think and digest that thought. Only he’ll be wearing it. The boss wasn’t looking too good. (laughs)

 

Just then the rest of the crew walked in. Darka Vyper opened his mouth. “How can ya be talkin business and not bring me in? Ya see my man big man? Watch him. Sometimes he acts a bit shifty.”

“Suck ya mom viper. We’re talkin about big man tings. Remember that swerve on the tour bus?”

“The swerve. You’re tryin it. You was driving the car ya dickhead! We got to Radar on time and it was us on this garment thing.”

“Yeh. Take a seat and we can "”

 

Just then, a stranger who nobody knew who it was somehow fell through the ceiling like a ghost. Everyone looked up at the ceiling, in awe to see that the ceiling was still intact. There was a few seconds of silence as the stranger looked at the situation to see what was going on. He opened his mouth with conviction.

“What is this? The Apprentice?” (big laughs)

There was an even longer silence. “I’m not an apprentice” replied Darka Vyper.

“There are no apprentices” added the boss.

“I came here to come here? This is long. I’m gone” said the stranger. In fact he wasn’t a stranger. I recognised him. It took me until now to realise who he is. He was that bredda from Chocolate School. I looked to the left at my ex-girlfriend, looked back at him, and then my ex-girlfriend turned to look at me. My face froze. The bredda looked from the boss in a suit, to look at the audience. I looked at his stunned face. I looked around to find anyone else I recognised. My ex-girlfriend didn’t like me looking around to find people I recognise. She smiled at me once I stopped moving my head. I didn’t smile back. Now the bredda from Chocolate School was looking at me, and his face changed. And then my face changed. My ex-girlfriend turned to look at me looking concerned. I told her I was fine. She told me I wasn’t. I lied saying he’s my friend. She then held my hand I wondered how long this would last. I wondered how my she knew I was going to be here, but my girlfriend not.

 

(the camera does various zooming in and out sequences from the stage to the audience, and zooms in on random people’s faces in the audience, who the tv viewers have no idea who they are. then the shot of someone breaks off into a square on a black background,  and then various squares or pictures of people in the audience are moving around the screen. for three seconds these moving squares of faces are made 10x faster.)

 

(the scene cuts to a vintage 1940s black and white advert for kitchen goggles. a man is stood behind a kitchen work surface in the middle of a kitchen with wallpaper and tiled floor, and whilst lifting up goggles, he says That’s Why You Should Always Wear Goggles When Cutting Onions)

 

“And that’s why we can deliver a quick turnaround” says the boss to Sickedy Swick.

“Cool. This business sounds very efficient”, he replied.

“You should thank your people who do the proofs” added the boss.

The bredda looked sick of this. “No. You want some cool clothes. All you have to do is get some crayons.” He spent ages looking in cabinets and shelves looking for crayons, discarding pencils and felt tip pens. “And then bang them like this!” He tried to crush them with his trainers. He failed thrice. He went outside, and came back with a metal bar. Bang! Bang! Bang! He crushed them on the boss’s desk. “You see that swirl of colour? Sell that. You’ll all love it.” He left the room with a brisk walk, and slammed the door as he left. After a moment of silence, a family photo of the boss and his kids fell from the wall, and smashed on the floor with the glass breaking. It was on the other side of the room. Shock, there was. (big laughs)

Reviews

[Marie Harrison]

Cool chapter. Very funny. I like the ex-change between Bredda and the ex-girlfriend. Love the humor, it's all throughout these scenes. I think this would be two very funny scenes. Great work!!

I can definately see this as an actual sitcom!

[tynamite]

I could see it as a sitcom too. I like the format.

[tynamite]

You can have a big novel but when it's acted out on screen it's much quicker to watch than it is to read, even if the tv show or movie doesn't cut anything out the book. The problem is that I'm more of a novel writer than a screenwriter. It's a different type of writing. You can't equate the two.

I think I would write the 1100 word sitcom on my own, and then collaborate with another writer (preferably a screenwriter) who pads it out to make it longer. After that we would both work together in real-time on writing the sitcom exchanging ideas now the foundation has been laid out. I don't know how many words it takes to fill 24 minutes on screen, but the script would be a lot of words. Aaargh!