Moving On

Last day of school, going university in September. It's unfair for me to leave as my time was robbed.

I was here, but now I'm gone;

will I find something new to shine upon?

Will I find the strength to carry on;

while I'm forcibly moving on?

Author's Note

Can you please comment what this poem means for you? This means to comment what changes in your life this poem would apply to.

Reviews

[AloysiaVerben]

I liked this poem, an issue that affects most people at some time in their life. Very nice and easy to read.

[Tate Morgan]

Well college is a good thing to do and worry not youll do fine

[Chelsea]

I really liked this poem. very simply said but you do convey alot of meaning!
as for the meaning obviously everybodies going to have a different view.. but for me i can see this as loss. this loss is taking a toll on this person i think.. that's what i got from it.
this relates to me as i've had a fair bit of loss and i think that i go looking for attention and all sorts of things...so i think your poem says that by "somthing new to shine upon"
good stuff! send your read requests anytime! i enjoyed reading this.

[Carolina Kel]

Short and simple. I like it because it does make me think of going to college, before I read your description up top. I am starting my second year next month and it is so exciting, but it is change again with new classes, new room, and possibly new friends. :)
This could apply to any situation with change, really. Well done.

[Frantzuu]

Great write
in life we are always on the get go, always trying to reach a goal, but sometimes we crumble but we have to keep our heads up and keep aiming for success!!

[manchilld99]

This is a poem of loss. It speaks of moving on into another direction not of one's own volition. Maybe this applies to a child moving to another neighborhood, having to make new friends, etc. , maybe a partner or a spouse having to start anew after a breakup, maybe someone who loses a job.

In fact, this applies to so many situations, there probably is no one who could not find some application in his/her past experiences. That makes it relevant and the simple language and tone make it accessible.

I would probably not use the words 'I'm forcibly.' I think it is an awkward construction, it's meaning cloudy. Does it mean the same as 'forcibly moved on' -- as if by forces beyond the speaker's control? I thought about it, and 'being forced to' runs a little smoother, while maintaining the same number of syllables and thus the same rhythm. I am sure there are other ways to reconstruct that part, if you think this a valid criticism.

[Scott A. Williams]

Very good! Quick and to the point, like many of my favourites. I'd change the word "forcibly," a bit too clinical for a sharp poem like this. think on it, but otherwise, I like.

As to "what it means for me," well, we all have things beyond our control in our lives, responsibilities, places we have to go, or places we have to leave before our time, whether it's a new job or city, or a death. Very open to interpretation, which of course enhances the quality.

[zombiikillah666]

for me, it would be realization kicking
in and just having to deal with
my current situation...
but this flows really good,
i like it. (:
great write. (:

[E. L. Foley]

Especially after the blurb before the poem, it makes me think of leaving home for college. The song "Who I Am" by Faktion, which describes something similar, is actually the first thing I thought of when I read your poem.

[Desert Dreamer]

This poem reminds me of a time when I was forced to leave a city and job and house and all my friends due to things beyond my control...