Coping with Misery

Ever since I could walk I've been abused. Beaten, told that I'm worthless, told that I'm not- nor will I ever be- loved. Things along those lines. I cut myself. To try to bleed out the pain. Everyone around me knows of it, I don't hide it. I do it on my forearms mostly, in plain view. I smoke, to try to leave my body and my life and my pain behind. I've thought og suicide, multiple times. It just never appealed to me. Everything in this journal is common knowledge. My psychiatrist knows and won't let me alone to deal with it. Ugh it's such a drag, him trying to help me and I've made it very clear that I don't want or need his help. He's backed off recently, though, now I just sit in the room listening to the heaviest songs on my i pod.

 

 

This is what I said five years ago: that I cut myself, that my parents abused me in every way but sexually, that I abused drugs, that I was suicidal, even that I ignored the people that actually cared about my well being. Now I look at my scars and feel giddy with joy. I hit rock bottom and made my way back to the top. The scars are aconstant reminder not to lose sight of what's important to me. Dr. Conroy never stopped pushing me. He made sure- after he saw the bruises- that my new family actually cared and wanted me. After I moved my F's became straight A's. Everything was better. The cloud over my head became a sun, and I a ray. Don't ask me how he did it, he just did. I'm not a religous person but I do pray, every night to the one responsible for me having my life back: Dr. Conroy. I did not pray to God for one reason. Dr. Conroy was my God. Because of him I now have a beautiful wife and two wonderful girls. Thank you Dr. Conroy, God, for not giving up on me

Author's Note

this is not based off of my life and please exuse and grammar mistakes

Reviews

[CRBain]

Like most of your work, it's too short for any real meaningful reviews. I'd say try to focus on your grammar.

Also, keep in mind that emotion is best conveyed through implication and context. Don't tell us how he feels, show us. Lead us to our conclusions, don't tell us what they should be.
I'd be very interested in seeing a longer work from you. Maybe a few pages long. Keep up the good work and don't stop improving.