Alone

How I really feel inside.

I am just some random person

Blending with the crowd

Keeping my feelings hidden

Never voicing them aloud

Staying ever silent

Trying not to complain

Never telling anyone

About my internal pain

When they ask me “What is wrong?”

I smile and shrug it off

I ignore my loneliness

And laugh and joke and scoff

In reality I hurt

I hurt and hurt so much

I’m by myself in this world

Lacking another’s touch

I’m a codependent being

Existing here alone

My least favorite thing is loneliness

But it’s all I’ve ever known

I wish I had someone

Just one special person

To allow me to feel loved

Just a little, not immersion

The pain inside my soul,

I tell it “Go away.”

It just jeers and says

“I am here to stay”

My friends all think

I am always cheery

It’s just a mask I wear

So that I don’t make them bleary

This is the first time I’ve said

How I actually feel

This is a poem of truth

All of this is real

I tell myself I’m strong

I think I’ll be okay

But nobody will love me

I’m not good enough anyway

I feel so alone

No one here to care

I can’t open my heart

Because there’s nothing in there

I wear a smiling face

Only happiness you're shown

But the word that describes how I really feel

Would have to be alone.

Author's Note

It took a lot of courage for me to post this, but I'm glad I got it out.

Reviews

[Hyacinth]

This- this is- this is raw, and real. And that, despite what mistakes you made, makes this the best piece of writing I've ever read from you. To pout your emotions into a piece of writing, it's hard. And I know. But the- the vulnerability you can see in this is inexplicable. I comend you for being able to this, and I hope that one day in the future you'll find that person you're looking for, because whatever people say or whatever you feel inside, you deserve it. You deserve to be loved and you deserved to be able to show the world who you are. Thank you for sharing this.

[JoshuaCmngs]

Thank you, it means a lot that you reviewed, and thank you for your kind words.

[Saul IQM]

This poem seems quite visceral and dense. I really like the fluidity of the meaning and how your descriptions parallel the accumulation of emotion and sense. I would prefer some more variety in how you present each facet and I would also prefer a more specific lexicon. Regardless it felt very explicit, somewhat like dialogue, which heightened the impact of your words. I could cling onto the dismal nature of each additional exclamation you made.

[JoshuaCmngs]

Thank you for reviewing, and thank you for the advice. I am trying to improve myself as a poet, so all tips appreciated. I will definitely use more elaboration and specification in my future works.

[Joshua Haines]

Not bad. 7/10 I do prefer the poem about fear. But this poem is great about hiding about real pain