A Garden Melodrama - Scene Seven

A Stage Play by Paris Hlad

Scene 7: Near the Lake, a Sunny Day

The Daffodils Are Ensconced in Lounge Chairs,

Wearing Swimsuits, Sunglasses, & Large Summer Hats.

Petal’s Diary & Soft Drink Sit on a Cooler Between Them.

PETAL:

We’ve been so stoked lately

That we really don’t know

What to do with ourselves.

CHLOE:

Love stories like this can be profoundly moving,

And you just want to share them with others.

PETAL:

So, maybe you’d like to know what the upshot

Has been for the characters involved

In this fascinating melodrama.

We have forever to tell you

Because a daffodil’s life

Is less complicated after April.

CHLOE:

We’re still here on Ruins Hill, kind of,

But all the fantastic demonstrations of yellow

Are over until next spring. (Turning to Petal)

PETAL:

Almost all of us write diaries and try to keep up

On the stuff that’s happening in the off-season.

But mostly we just goof around,

Thinking about the miracle of cloning

And planning for the next pageant.

CHLOE:

It’s partly downtime and partly the rush

Of imagining things getting even better.

PETAL (Tapping on the Diary)

You want to know what happened to those lowlifes

Who kidnapped Myrina when she was a baby?

They didn’t just get put in jail, you know.

They got sent to hell

Because they wouldn’t say “Sorry,”

And the Gardener finally got fed up

With their impudent bullshit.

CHLOE:

Some creatures say the Gardener

Should be nice to everyone all the time.

PETAL:

But a good Gardener needs to be

A lot more than hugs and kisses.

Anyway, those thugs are doing hard-time

Before they get a second chance at nothingness.

In fact, I found out through this mole friend of mine

That they’re working overtime for Beelzebub

As personal restroom attendants.

CHOLE: (Giggling)

You’ve got to believe that job really stinks!

PETAL:

But one of those guys, Bobby “Bingo” Casanova,

Said he was “definitely getting something positive”

Out of his time in hell

Because he’s working for a “righteous dude”

Who seems to totally understand him.

CHLOE: (Looks Out Toward the Lake)

Bobby sounds like a dink.

PETAL:

At least on an existential level!

Anyway, the friend who told me this stuff

Is an internationally known whistleblower,

Part-time rabbi, and agent-provocateur,

And he’s going to demand the release

Of these special legal documents

Involving Bobby’s case.

So, there’s a pretty good chance

We’ll be getting more information

About Bobby before too long.

Maybe you’re as interested in seeing those papers as I am,

Because centipedes that happen to be kidnappers that get sent to hell

Is a pretty unusual occurrence,

Even in Paris Osowski’s crazy universe.

Do you remember Simon’s brother, Abel?

(Chloe Nods, As She Steals a Sip of Petal’s Soft Drink)

He retired from show business a while ago

And makes his living selling springtime memorabilia -

He even teaches other insects how to do those cool tricks

He used to do with Simon when they were child acrobats.

He says he couldn’t be happier just telling his stories

About all the great performances they gave.

CHOLE:

Maybe he used to, but I’m pretty sure

He’s dead now and into other things.

PETAL: (She Gazes Quizzically at Chloe.)

Simon got some interesting news this summer!

Apparently, he was canonized by the poet

As St. Simon of the Ruins Hill Parish.

The Gardener placed a small statue of him

Near the entrance to the Garden^{^[1]}

And told everybody that Simon

Should be respected for his knowledge

Of The Lightning in affairs of the heart.

Simon says, “It’s no big deal,” but he’s been wearing

A gigantic gold hat lately and walks around all the time

With his shiny hands piously folded in front of him.

CHOLE:

That makes everyone laugh like crazy.

PETAL:

Especially the Gardener.

She calls him “The Glow Saint,”

And that makes Simon laugh, too.

(Rising from Her Chair & Beginning to Put Up a Canopy)

Andre and Myrina have been

Making these awesome wreaths

And placing them all over the Garden.

CHLOE: (Rising, She Helps Petal with the Canopy.)

Some are red; some are yellow and red,

And some are white and yellow.

All of them smell unbelievably good,

And the roses that they’re made of

Are smiling and joking all the time.

PETAL:

Simon told us that every so often,

The Gardener takes one of those wreaths

And throws it in the air, just to watch the roses

Fall in different places.

They just sing and dance around where they come down,

Which is pretty amazing, when you think about it!

But I guess it’s a major turn-on for the Gardener.

Sometimes these very jazzed confetti bees

Join in and buzz around the roses

As if they were -

Well, roses with wings,

Forming their own wreaths,

So, they can be scattered, too.

CHLOE:

When that happens,

Everyone takes notice

And wants to see

The confetti bees

Get even more jazzed about things.

We’d love to see that sometime,

Wouldn’t you?

As the Curtains Close,

The Daffodils Are Mesmerized

By the Sight of a Mockingbird,

Devouring an Earthworm

Right in front of them.

But Gaining Their Composure,

They Smile Affably & the Play Ends.

[1] Before Simon’s elevation, only Rose Immaculate and Paris’s mother enjoyed something like the status of a saint in the poet’s mind. Simon was active in Paris’s inner-world for several months and is remembered for having been prominent in the poet’s Garden adventures in Newburgh, as well as for a cameo appearance in one of the poet’s most disturbing dreams.