I Love

I love the taste upon her lips,

      I love the new disease.

I love the feeling that she brings

when she can’t feel at ease.

 

I love to feel her beating heart

      pulsating in my palm,

I love to feel her trembling kiss,

      so nervous and alarmed.

 

I love her precious, fevered hands

      when she cannot let go.

I love to show her all the things

      that she has never known.

 

I love the nervousness she feels

      while reading me her soul.

I love the tenderness she shows

      before I take control.

 

But finally I understand

      their meaning and their sin—

Though god the father’s at the door,

      we never let him in:

We lie each night in happiness

      that death could not forsake,

And spend each newborn sunlit day

      inside our happy place.

 

Perhaps one day in paradise

      whilst walking down the sand,

You’ll see our smiles upon the stars

      as we lie, holding hands.

You’ll listen as our ghosts retell

      our love and our romance,

And to the humming of our hearts

      our flaming souls will dance.

Reviews

[Kara Emily Krantz]

this is beautiful chas..... :) :) :)

"I love the nervousness she feels
while reading me her soul. " - love it

i really relate to this right now for some reason... where i am in my world right now... i can relate to this girl.

this is lovely lovely lovely

hugs!

[Miss J]

i like how the first four stanza had a tempo of their own...almost a fast beat and then it slowed down as the thought faded and memory came into the picture. the references here are awesome. and i like the play on words with newborn and death.

i agree with fixing the capitals that don't need to be capitals...or make all the lines begin with capitals. i think the only thing that was off to me was that in the last stanza you changed the voice from you talking and explaining to you talking to us. it wasn't a big thing though...cause the last stanza help slow the piece down even more for a great close.

i agree with previous statements also on the voice. you've definately found your voice. pulled me in...again...cause i've read this before when i first saw your page.

give me some more poetry man...i'm diggin things so far. :D

[Miss J]

i like how the first four stanza had a tempo of their own...almost a fast beat and then it slowed down as the thought faded and memory came into the picture. the references here are awesome. and i like the play on words with newborn and death.

i agree with fixing the capitals that don't need to be capitals...or make all the lines begin with capitals. i think the only thing that was off to me was that in the last stanza you changed the voice from you talking and explaining to you talking to us. it wasn't a big thing though...cause the last stanza help slow the piece down even more for a great close.

i agree with previous statements also on the voice. you've definately found your voice. pulled me in...again...cause i've read this before when i first saw your page.

give me some more poetry man...i'm diggin things so far. :D

[Harley Ray Bishop]

A dessert dream written while you search for water. A mirrage that will never come, as feelings of love seem to far above. The thougts dwindle as a oportunity arises and yet falls, when you see the stars will sooner or later burn out.

Beautiful.....

[Nicole Hellene]

whoa, this is gripping. You take all the things that people are quiet about or politely pretend don't exist and nonchalantly throw them in our faces. You tell us about revelations that you're having and it makes the reader think about his own outlook. You attempt to teach us something. That's awesome. You describe love as powerful, using powerful controling words, telling how it made you strong and in control, whereas most cliche poets describe love as a weakness and how it made them lose control, using weak descriptions.

[L. L. Jacobson]

OH MY Gosh! The fact that this was penned by you and conjured by your heart and not some throwback poet of yesteryear is absolutely baffling.
I love the idea of these lovers ghosts retelling their love and romance. WHAT PROFOUND LOVE THIS IS. It is rare.

p.s.- I am a sucker for structured, rhyming poetry. You do a wonderful job with it.

[Erik Bergstrom]

I think this is one of those poems that are just fun to read and easy to hear, and can be interpreted in many ways. It has a great voice and sounds pretty meaningful. I don't know much about the structure of poems, but if I know anything, then you shouldn't have to worry about what some faceless people say and go with what you already know. I've written some pretty corny poems to girls I know, and this is definitely not as corny as they were. Keep honing your skills and working at your craft and you will discover how great you can get.

[Leah Simone]

Lovely poem in a traditional meter and rhyme scheme. You mentioned this style appeals to you and I can tell it suits your poetic voice well. -Leah

[Heather Angelika Dooley]

Mr. Stover, this is flawless. There is not one thing that doesn't flow, doesn't belong where it is, and doesn't tell this story beyond marvelously.

This poem is so clean, comprehensive, and relatable, but it is also heartfelt, interesting, and just beautifully written. For most people, I think this would be the epitome of poetry!